“This isn’t the same,” she whispered.
How do you know? Have you tried?
“I haven’t tried very hard at anything since you left,” Eira admitted. The only times she’d been spurred to action were at the idea of hunting down his killer. Otherwise, what had she done? Retreated from the world? Lay in bed?
You promised me we would fight together.
“I did.” She hiccupped softly, suddenly choking on emotion. “But you were supposed to be with me at the very end.”
His ghost smiled tenderly at her.I’ll always be with you, Eira.
She cried.
She wailed into the darkness and poured out her soul as sound and tears. She had mourned Marcus that cold night, and then retreated to numbness. These were the first tears she shed for him in months. These were the tears she should have wept weeks ago—the ones Alyss, and Cullen, and even Noelle with her sidelong glances knew Eira had been holding back.
If she ever got back to her friends, she would simultaneously apologize and thank them. Her brother was gone from this world—resigned to look after her from the Father’s realms—but her friends were still here. They were still fighting for her. They were trying to get to her right now. She had to believe that was true. She knew it in her bones.
And if they would fight, so would she. Not just for Marcus’s vengeance, but to honor his life and the promises she’d made to him. She would fight for everything she could still yet become.
When the light appeared again, Eira was upright, waiting. She didn’t launch to her feet, lunging for the door like a ravenous beast; even though she salivated at the mere sight of the crusted loaf, she remained seated, calm, tranquil.
The young man approached the door and tilted his head one way, then the other, clearly unsure how to process this shift in her demeanor. Eira stared back at him, waiting for him to start his part of the speech. She didn’t beg or grovel today. She merely waited.
“You might be drenched in the evil one, but the Champion has deemed you worthy of a meal. Bless his goodness.”
“Bless his goodness,” Eira repeated, as she knew he would want. But when he held out the bread through the bars, she didn’t move. The man frowned slightly, eyes narrowing. After being alone for so long, void of sensation, she could almostfeelthe magic in the air around him, rising like the tides, steeping with power ready to be unleashed should she attack.
“He has deemed you worthy of a meal.Bless his goodness.”
“Bless his goodness; but I do not want a meal.” Eira looked the young man right in the eyes, mentally commanding him to be her messenger. “Tell the Champion I want the light. I will live by it or am willing to die here in this pit.”
She’d drawn her line in the sand and made her play. The man slowly retracted his arm and passed the loaf of bread from hand to hand. He clearly didn’t know how to process her ultimatum. Finally, wordlessly, he retreated up the stairs. Luckily, Eira’s stomach didn’t growl until after he was well out of earshot.
Now, she’d wait and see what their reply was to her demands. Would they let her starve to death? Or they would make the mistake of setting her free?
15
Ferro came alone to collect her from the pit. He coddled and cooed over her as he helped her up the stairs—blindfolded again. He praised her for her perseverance while simultaneously reassuring her not to worry about how wretched she looked, how bad she smelled, how much she trembled.
“We all were like this after the pit,” he said gently. “Wear it like a badge of honor.”
“I will,” Eira said softly, looking up at him as though the sun rose from his ass. She clutched his arm tighter, intentionally stumbling on the last step to her room. Ferro pulled her upright. “Thank you.”
Let them think you’re helpless. They wanted to beat her down. But all they had done was hammer her into a harder metal. Ever since leaving the pit Eira could feel the world in ways she had never thought possible. Tiny currents of magic, trembling in the air around everyone, were suddenly perceptible. Almost loud with their vibrations.
“Of course.” He smiled thinly.
“Not just for that.” Eira shook her head. “For speaking on my behalf to the Champion, for giving me an opportunity for my eyes to be opened.”
“And are your eyes open?” The question was guarded. Eira couldn’t be sure what he wanted to hear.
“I see the light, everywhere, and from within,” she said, trying to evoke the emotionless hollow that the other Pillars’ voices echoed from. “I have known the darkness, and now I wish to eradicate it from our world. I have shaken Raspian’s hold on me.”
“I believe you.” Ferro placed his hands on her cheeks. Eira resisted the urge to spit in his face with a smile. “But you will still need to prove yourself to others, and to our Champion.”
“Bless his goodness.”
Ferro laughed with relief at her intoning the words. “Bless his goodness, indeed. Now, carry on, we’re almost to your room. Tonight, a good night’s rest. Tomorrow, recovery. And then we will begin showing the Pillars the blessings Yargen has given you in your magic.”
