“Everywhere,” he rasped. His thumbs dug into her hips as he grabbed them, massaging lightly. “I don’t want to hold back.”
“So don’t.” Eira nipped at his neck. His back arched. “Give yourself to me.”
She felt like a temptress until the moment his eyes opened and Cullen looked at her. Then, she felt like a goddess of night and shadow and desire. An entity that could bring a man to his knees and leave him wanting and begging for more. Eira had never considered herself a highly sexual being. But now she understood why this insatiable drive left people yearning for more.
“I… I’ve never…” He trailed off, panic alight in his eyes.
“I haven’t either,” she whispered. “We don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
“I want to.”
“Are you sure?”
“I think so.”
Thinkwasn’t enough for her. It wasn’t an enthusiastic yes. She had arrived at her own conclusion, in her own time. But she needed him to do the same. It wouldn’t mean anything if he wasn’t as committed as she was.
“Do you want to tonight? With me?” Eira pressed. Wanting to as a general thing and wanting to here and now were very different.
His throat constricted as he swallowed. Eira watched the panic and worry evaporate from his eyes. “I have never wanted anything more, so much that it scares me.” Cullen caressed her cheek. “I’m just worried I won’t be good enough for you.”
“My dear Cullen…” She tilted her head into his hand. “You are more than I deserve. More than I ever dreamed of. Love was something I had written off a long time ago and then you came into my life.”
“And complicated everything.” He laughed softly.
“Such a blissful complication you are.” Eira leaned forward to kiss him again. She didn’t want to think of complications. They just reminded her of the world beyond that wanted to hold them both back at best, or see them dead at worst. “Take me,” she whispered. “Now, later, whenever you want me, I’m yours. I will wait eternity for you.”
“I hope I never keep you waiting so long.” He propped himself up on his elbows and then pressed farther forward. They twisted once more until he was atop her. Her hands roamed down and farther down still. When she hesitated, he grabbed her wrist and guided her hand to him.
With shuddering gasps and strangled moans, they explored each other until there was nothing left between them. With a tent of sheets over his shoulders, cast in shadows, they merged together in the darkness. His heat, his scent, the delightful sensation of tension both relieved and stretched to the breaking point overwhelmed her. When he moved, she moved with him. Eira rasped his name into his ear, over and over again. Cullen bit on her neck, a little harder than he likely should have, forcing her to smother a moan that would otherwise wake up the whole manor.
They treated the night like those fleeting hours were the only ones they would ever have. And when their bodies were exhausted, they fell into each other’s arms. Eira’s head on his chest, his hand in her hair, they submitted to slumber, sweat-slicked and satisfied.
* * *
Once more, morning came too soon. Eira woke to Cullen shifting. Ever the gentleman, he tried to place a pillow where his body had once occupied, but she noticed the change instantly. Drowsy and bleary-eyed, she woke to see him dressing. A brief streak of panic raced through her. Would he regret what they had done in the early hours of a gray dawn? Was he trying to sneak out and pretend it all never occurred?
That would be apt. That would be what she’d always expected from such things. Because Eira had never imagined herself for love. She’d never contemplated that a man like Cullen would turn and smile just at the sight of her.
With a knee on the bed, he leaned over and kissed her temple lightly. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“It’s all right.” Eira stretched, stiff in all the right places with an ache she would not want Alyss to relieve.
“I figured I should leave before anyone else wakes.”
“For the best.” She nodded and sat as he finished dressing. “Do you regret it?”
He paused and turned to look her straight in the eyes. “Mother above, no. I will treasure last night for the rest of my life.”
“Me too.” Eira smiled, but there was a twinge of sadness in the air that she couldn’t pin down. It hovered over his shoulders, weighing them down.
“I love you.” Even though he said it, something about those words sounded like goodbye.
No, she was imagining that… These doubts were her fabrication from years of telling herself that this type of love would never be hers—that she didn’tdeserveit. Eira forced the thoughts from her head and smiled.
“I love you, too.”
He grabbed her hand. “No matter what, Eira. That will be true. I hope I proved that to you last night—I will always find my way to your bed.” Cullen kissed her lips and left before she could say or do anything else.
