“As I did you. I left Risen for you. I told you my story. Forgive me for sparing myself the trauma of sharing the more agonizing details of my captivity.”
“How can I believe anything else you’ll say? How can I trust you’re not keeping something else from me?” Her heart was racing. They were at the point of breaking, she could see it. Yet she couldn’t stop herself.
“How can I put my faith in you when you judge me for actions taken when I was incaptivity?” he seethed back. “I never meant to break your trust, Vi. But know you are dangerously close to breaking mine.”
“Maybe that’s just what happens to the people we love.” Her mind returned to one of the last thoughts she’d had when she’d seen him previously. “Maybe we’re meant to hurt and be hurt. Maybe we’re just meant to burn.”
Vi took a small step away from him. Taavin caught her wrist. Sparks crackled, bright yellow, tangled with a hazy blue glow that Vi knew as the hallmark of his magic—of Yargen’s power.
“Fine,” he breathed. “If we’re meant to burn, then we burn together.”
They were both breathing heavily. His exhales were her inhales, until the air between them was thin and she felt dizzy. Vi stared up at his emerald eyes long enough to watch their crystalline depths go hazy. “Taa—”
His hand was in the back of her hair, grabbing, pulling. His free arm wrapped around her, holding her to him. Vi’s eyes barely had time to close before his mouth crashed against hers.
Taavin’s teeth scraped against her lips and Vi parted them with a soft groan, allowing him entry. The rock wall behind her dug into her back. She managed to squeeze her hands between them. Her fingers fought their way up his chest, to his face, tugging him closer.
Sunlight… Even in the darkness, he smelled of sunlight. He smelled of fields warmed in the afternoon, of the heat on fresh laundry pulled inside on a hot day, of joy and laughter over a cool drink in the balmy hours after dusk.
He shifted his legs and Vi’s hips pressed forward slightly, their bodies completely flush. His fingers gripped her hard enough that they might leave bruises. Vi almost hoped they did. She needed proof this moment was real. She wanted something to look at later and remind herself it wasn’t just a fleeting daydream.
Taavin finally pulled away a fraction, breathless, their noses rubbing and foreheads nearly touching.
“Perhaps you’re right about us burning together, because only you can set me on fire.” Vi leaned forward, catching his mouth for several more moments. Taavin kissed her slowly this time, almost sweetly, as if he was savoring every taste. As if they both somehow knew that these desperate, fleeting moments were the best they would have.
“Vi.” Her name was husky on his swollen lips. “I’ve never had much… but this is all I have now. This whole world may need you and not know it, but no one needs you more than I do, I promise you that. I will make mistakes. But I need you to believe in me, trust me.” His thumb caressed her cheek as his eyes locked with hers. Gut-wrenching pain filled her with that gaze. He was asking for something she didn’t know if she could give any longer. “I need you to accept that this, however perfect it can feel, isn’t. I want you to stay with me despite that fact. Stay with me because it is messy, and raw, and something we need but may also be terrified to want.”
She pressed her eyes closed. Vi took a quivering breath.Say yes. Just say yes. She tried to will the word to her lips.
What would happen if she gave herself to him even more than she already had, and then he betrayed her? Would there be anything left unbroken in her after something like that?
“Taavin,” her voice was raspy and thin, barely forced through a thick throat. “What if I can’t?”
“Good sense would have me give up on you… But when it comes to you, Vi, I seem to be lacking in good sense.”
Vi tightened her arms around his neck and shoulders. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“As am I,” he murmured.
“Sarphos will be back soon and I have so much to tell you. So much we should discuss… but all I want to do is hold you.” Vi let out a small, bitter laugh. There was so much to say. She had yet to tell him of the scythe, of Jayme, of Adela. There would never be enough time for all the words unspoken between them.
“Then hold me, and let the world wait.”
Chapter Fifteen
Eventually,King Noct’s hospitality would run out. Everything had its limits. And before that happened, Vi wanted to be as prepared as possible to start on the road again.
But with so much to do, she wasn’t sure where to start.
Vi opened a heavy wooden door to a library, tucked away in a quiet corner of the palace. Cool air rushed to greet her, carrying the scent of stale leather and parchment. The atmosphere was that of opening a time capsule, the room still and coated in a thick layer of dust.
The only evidence that anyone had used this room recently was an open journal sitting out on the table, two empty inkwells and one still full laid out next to it.
The private library of the royal family was small, but tall, and every bookcase that lined its walls was packed. It was more than enough information to keep herself busy yesterday and today… perhaps tomorrow. But Taavin was getting stronger, and so was she. And that meant they needed to continue onward.
Her father was out there, and the longer she dallied, the longer he suffered.
Vi ran her fingertips absentmindedly along the spines of the books, working her way toward the back corner where she’d left off last night. Selecting a narrow, wide book, Vi lifted it off the shelf and brought it over to her table. She flipped through the maps within, landing on the page she’d been working from yesterday.
