Her mother’s face was unreadable, her expression closed. It was Jax who gave away the guise as he looked from Vhalla to Vi, his eyes becoming soft and sad in a terrible way that Vi didn’t want to ever see.
“No, no—” Vi shook her head, taking a step back, as if this was something she could run from.
All too fast, her mother crossed the gap between them and wrapped her hands around Vi’s shoulders. Vhalla gave her a gentle shake, looking at her with eyes harder than a Groundbreaker’s stone skin. All in one expression, she seemed to be able to communicate the simple message:If I can keep myself together, so can you.
But those words never left her lips. Instead, her mother instructed simply, “Come to my tent. We will discuss there.”
Chapter Thirteen
There wasno sound in Vi’s ears, just a dull ringing noise that she feared would be there for the rest of her life. Things were clicking together, locking into place. Questions compounded with more questions, crashing together around one terrible truth.
Vi pressed her eyes closed, wanting to shut out the whole world for just a minute. One minute so she could catch her breath and then—
“Vi?” her mother said with a gentle touch on her shoulder. Vi’s head jerked up at the contact. “Come in, please.”
Part of her desperately didn’t want to, as if she could ignore the truth laid out before her. But Vi had no other option. It was better to hear it from her mother than leave her mind to speculation.
As soon as the tent flap closed between her and Vhalla, Jax remaining outside to presumably stand guard and send away any who would interrupt them, Vi started.
“Is it the White Death?”
“Yes.” Her mother sat heavily in one of her chairs. Her tent was set up nearly identical to Vi’s.
Vi swayed in place. She wanted to scream and shout, not at her mother, but at the disease slowly killing them all. Instead, Vi stumbled over, all but collapsing at her mother’s feet.
“Were you going to tell me?” Vi looked up at her mother, her invincible mother, the woman who had risen from nothing to rule all, who had fought wars and triumphed—now made frail in the wake of a plague.
“I was.”
“When?”
“After your coronation.”
So if she hadn’t seen it now, she would’ve never found out. “This… this is why Father left, isn’t it?” Vi’s shoulders were trembling, but no tears fell. She was too profoundly shaken and sad—past the point of tears. This was another emotion altogether, one she didn’t even have a name for. “The Senate would’ve never let the Emperor leave, and Father wouldn’t have risked it unless—”
“Unless my life was on the line.” Vhalla was able to say what she could not. She sighed softly, sinking further into her chair and looking up at the ceiling. “But now it seems I will not see him again until we meet in the Father’s realms of eternal night.”
Vi rested her temple on her mother’s knee. Her eyes were unfocused and the world blurry. Everything had a hazy numbness to it that muted reality and made the pain less agonizing.
She could tell her mother of her vision.
Vi could give her hope that Aldrik still lived. But she hadn’t had a vision of him since the one in the ruins long ago. Perhaps Romulin was right and her insistence was misplaced. Perhaps Aldrik Solaris was dead. Vi pressed her eyes closed, as if blocking out the thought. But it persisted.
Her mother’s hand fell on her hair, stroking it lightly.She wouldn’t tell her,Vi decided. If her vision was wrong, or her father was dead, she wouldn’t give her mother a cruel, false hope. “I’m sorry, my daughter, that I have never properly been there for you.”
“You’ve done what you could.” Vi reached up, gripping her mother’s hand. She held it as she shifted, to her knees, and then her feet. Vi squeezed Vhalla’s fingers tightly, as though it would be the last time. Her body acted in a way her mind refused to acknowledge; Vi refused to mourn. “Let the rest of us do what we can, now.”
Her mother smiled faintly. “You’ve truly grown into your namesake.”
“My namesake?” She’d never realized she’d been named after anyone in particular. Her name was slightly odd, so Vi always assumed her mother had invented it.
“Yes… I met a woman once. Well, multiple times. She was actually the one who gave me that watch.” Vhalla nodded toward the watch around Vi’s neck.
“This one?” Vi grasped it, looking down. This was the watch that connected her with Taavin—the one that bore his mark, the one he wanted her to take to Meru. “You recognized it?”
“Of course I did.” Vhalla gave a small nod. “I would recognize that watch anywhere. I’d wondered what happened to it.”
“Fritz said he’d kept it and sent it to me. Is it all right?”
