How long ago had her father left? Vi tried to run the math in her head. She’d received his letter when Jayme arrived months ago—two months? It was the end of fall. It must’ve been two, almost three months. It was already almost the new year. It was impossible for Vi to add anything up—nothing was adding up.
He’d said he was leaving then. He must’ve left around the same time as Jayme, or just before, to escape the passages freezing over.
That meant he had to go north to the Crossroads, then west out to Norin. From Norin he would’ve boarded the ship… how long did it take to prepare a ship? Vi’s head was swimming in questions that came so fast she would drown in them.
Nothing made sense.
This wasn’t real.
Her toes had gone numb.
“They sent out search parties throughout the barrier islands,” Jax continued, as if trying to preempt her likely questions. “There has been talk of increased pirate activity lately—stories of ghost ships and mysteriously vanishing vessels.” Jax stopped again, swallowing, collecting his thoughts. The seconds he took to do it were both too long and too short. Long enough that Vi’s mind ran wild with possibilities of what he’d say next. But short enough that by the time he continued, she wasn’t ready for it. “Those search parties found debris, along with the bodies of the crew of theDawn Striderin the waters, washed ashore on the beaches of Diamond Sand Island.”
“My father?” Vi whispered in a voice so tiny she couldn’t believe it came from her.
“They have yet to recover his body… The search efforts will continue, however. At least for a time.”
“If they didn’t find is body, then—”
“Aldrik was not a Waterrunner.” Jax hung his head. “He was strong and powerful. But against whatever storm or pirates befell theDawn Strider, his magic wouldn’t have been enough. There have been no survivors.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Vi—”
“He could be out there, still! If we haven’t found his body, then, then…”
“Then it could be at the bottom of the ocean or torn apart or turned to dust!” Jax snapped. Hurt raised the volume of his voice, making his words sting her ears. They stung worse than the tears prickling her eyes. “You don’t think I thought of all that? Elecia thought?”
“I… But…” Her chest heaved with soundless sobs. A pain so agonizing ripped through her that all she could do was breathe.
He couldn’t be dead. Her father couldn’t be dead. Everything she’d done had been for her family—a complete family—for her father. Vi’s mind was beginning to fracture, her thoughts not quite adding up.
“Elecia has been scouring the seas for weeks now. She, nor the Senate, no one, wanted to declare your father dead, especially prematurely. She’s seen vessels going as far as they are allowed in the waters beyond the Main Continent before the armadas of the Crescent Continent strike them down as part of their mad travel and trade restrictions… the bunch of brutes.”
“One of them could’ve found him,” Vi thought aloud, hopefully. She moved for her uncle, grabbing his hands. She didn’t know if she was trying to support him, or seek support for herself. Either way, it felt right. “He’s the Emperor Solaris, you said it yourself, and my father was powerful. He could be on one of the Crescent Continent ships and they took him back and—”
“Do you think if your father was alive he would not return home? He would not even write?”
“Perhaps they’re holding him hostage?” Vi countered frantically. She felt like she was theDawn Strider, holes being punched through the hull of her arguments. She was sinking further into that rising tide that had been taking the air from her lungs and reducing her to frantic whispers and thin words since the start.
“They invited him to begin with. And if their plan from the start was to take an Imperial hostage, why would they be silent about it now?”
“I…” She didn’t know, and was running out of counter-arguments. Her arms went slack, falling limply at her sides. Her eyes were burning now, and not from her spark but from the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know he’s alive. I just know it. He—hepromised me!He would be home. He would come with Romulin and Mother. He would be here and we would be a family—together—once and for all. He promised me and this is the one thing I have ever wanted. He won’t deny me it!”
She’d hunched in on herself as she spoke, holding her chest, trying to breathe. When had breathing become so difficult?
“I’m so sorry, Vi…” Her uncle shook his head, pulling her to him. Vi’s eyes pressed closed and the tears spilled over uncontrollably. She didn’t want to give into them, or the tremors in her shoulders. But the grief was too much. The world she’d always been promised was no more, before she could even step foot in it. Everything she had lived for and waited for was suddenly pulled out from under her feet.
“He—He’s not dead,” she insisted again through tears. Jax held her tighter. Vi shook her head, her nose grinding lines of snot across his shirt. “He can’t be dead.”
“He’s—”
“Don’t say it again.” She tried to pull herself away enough to look the man in his eyes. The moment there was a gap, Vi instantly missed their embrace. She wasn’t even sure if she could stand on her own right now without him. Yet she also didn’t want him to touch her. Everything had been disconnected all at once in her now fragile form. “Don’t say he’s dead. He’s not dead! He can’t be dead!”
“Vi—” Ellene started weakly. Vi had forgotten entirely she’d been standing in the doorway. The girl ran over in a sprint the moment Vi’s eyes landed on her. She wrapped her arms awkwardly around Vi’s waist, so she was now held in two places by two people. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be here. And you still have us, you still have your mother and—”
“Stop, stop!” Vi practically screamed, forcing them both away. She bumped against her desk, nearly falling on top of it. She’d jump on top of the thing to get away from them and the horrible words they were trying to pass off as truth. “He’snotdead. My father is alive.”
