Wayne was silent as they rounded a corner. But thankfully, he saved her before Jo could get too lost in her own mind. “I’m not so sure about that. You’ve got a good memory. If I recall, you were sniffing on instinct the moment we walked through your family’s front door.”
Jo laughed at the memory. “True.”
“But why would you say that you can’t remember?” The question landed delicately, but felt weighted.
“I don’t know . . .” she murmured. “Things just seem . . . hazy, in some places. Every now and then, it feels like I can’t find the right memories. Like this whole thing has been reality, and my life in Texas was the dream. Or maybe, it’s all still a dream that I’m waiting to wake up from.”
Another deafeningly long pause. Then, forced laughter. “I can assure you, I would’ve noticed a dame like you walking around the Society. Safe to say it’s all been the real world, just one step at a time.”
Stepping from one real world into the next, like the Door, Jo thought to herself. “Do you ever have trouble remembering?”
She knew what he was going to say before he said it. The brief hesitation and then the all too quick “Sometimes, I suppose” told her everything. He had little trouble remembering. Or, if he did run into issues, they were not of the same sort as hers. It was as if something inside her was beginning to break down, tear apart a mask she didn’t know she was wearing.
But did she even want to see what awaited her in the mirror when it was gone?
“Why did you opt to come?” Jo asked hastily, trying to change the topic.
Another painfully long pause. “A guy can’t just want some time with his friend?”
“Friend?After I—”
“It was completely uncalled for,” he agreed, before she could mention again the sore spot of his that she’d magically found. “But so was blaming you for the state of affairs. As Snow said, none of us knows how this works, or why. How can you be the cause of something without knowing any more than the rest of us?”
“Well, thanks.”
“Unless you do know something?” he added, low and borderline accusatory.
Jo turned in his direction, so startled she almost missed a step.
“You’re close to Snow, after all.”
“If I knew something. . . you’d know,” she whispered, hoping he’d believe her. She didn’t know much and didn’t know for certain if she’d tell him even if she did. But she needed him to believe she would—needed it more than she cared to admit.
“If you say so, doll.” He gave a soft sigh and the slightly accusatory tone vanished completely. “Sorry for the up and down. . . I still feel a mess. Like I’m not in control of any emotion I have from one moment to the next.”
“It’s okay. You knew Nico longer than I did, I’m sure it’s hitting you harder.”
“You have no idea.”
“So, you really have no issue then? Going through with this wish?” Jo asked cautiously, trying for casual and likely missing the mark.
“I have more issues than I have sense.” She bit back a quip about that not being hard because he never had much sense to begin with and allowed him to continue. “But, as we said in the briefing room, what choice do we have?”
Jo wanted to bring up the idea of dismantling the Society again in a more one-on-one setting. But Wayne stopped walking and the look on his face told her that there would be no recovering that topic for the time being. He stared up at one of the tidy little houses in the row they were walking on.
“Doll, why are wehere?” he asked slowly, shock drawing out the last word. “This is not the police station.”
“Obviously.” Jo pushed forward, dragging her feet up the brick walkway and toward the steps leading up to the front door.
When his footsteps weren’t behind her, Jo paused, looking back at him. He raised his eyebrows and she released a mighty sigh. “I just want to see the bastard for myself, all right? See the person who’s throwingthiswish on usnow.”
“I thought no ‘going rogue’?”
“I won’t even jump into time.” He still didn’t move. “Wayne, please I—”
“Let’s get on with this, then.” Wayne finally came up to join her on the porch. “You have a bright idea on how to get in without jumping in?”
“Well, yes.” Jo held out one hand, the other grabbing Wayne’s wrist. “We’ll just use the Door.”
