“I didn’t think I’d see you today,” she said.
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to.”
He looked as if he was a little lost and it broke her heart some.
The big tough boy in school had this look in his eyes too that she saw and no one else did.
As if no one cared about him, and he wished they had.
Now he had someone in his life who did and she was damn well going to make sure he saw it, even if she had to bean him on the head with it.
She was who she was and take her that way or not. If it was not, she’d find a way to mend her broken heart.
“I was tempted to let you stew some,” she said. “I can’t believe you’ve been able to think it through so quickly.” Not the guy who second-guessed things so much.
“It’s amazing what a person can do when they are feeling sorry for themselves and think they threw the best thing in their life away.”
She spun from where she was walking away from him to get to the couch and sit. “What?” she squeaked out.
“You heard me. You’ve got to know how I feel.”
“I don’t have to know anything,” she said. “Because you’ve never said it.”
“Neither have you.”
“But I just did,” she said. “And you looked shocked.”
“You ran away before I could say more,” he argued.
She sighed and put her hand up. “I don’t want to fight again. If you came here to hammer your point across, you’re just wasting your breath.”
“I didn’t. I came to say I love you too. To at least start with that.”
Her mouth opened and then closed. “You do?”
“Yeah. I’ve been struggling with it for several reasons.”
“Don’t you dare say anything about being worried you wouldn’t measure up.” She was close to growling at him. She was sick and tired of going down that road.
“I won’t,” he said. “I promise. I’ve had my ass handed to me by my grandmother. She said more of the same you did. Sometimes I can’t get out of my own way. Then there’s you who had it all planned out and the clean path you’re going to follow and are showing me how to do it with you. I struggle to keep up and it makes me think of everything else we’ve got that is different between us.”
She laughed. “I’m not nearly the planner that I used to be. If I was, I wouldn’t have shown you that land until I had the houselaid out and color choices picked because I’d want to make sure it was perfect. But I don’t want to make it perfect for me. I want to make it for us. You just choose to gloss over that part and it was wrong of me to just hit you with it like I had that way. I got excited and happy, and I didn’t think.”
“Really?”
“Yes. My mother would say I’m the best version of myself right now. I’m more open and free with how I feel, what I say, and what I want to do. I’m not hiding who I am because I’m afraid I’m too much for someone anymore. No one should have to do that. Be you and I’ll be me. Some might say I’ve shown more growth than you.”
“Very funny,” he said. “Put your chin back down, Princess.”
She smiled over the endearment he rarely called her. They’d get through this. They had to.
“I’m not trying to be funny. Or maybe I was a little. It was more about pointing out the facts. Honestly, Chance. I don’t want to be tiptoeing over everything I want to do for fear you’re going to think it’s a shot against you. Or something you can’t provide or afford. That’s not good for either of us. You’ve never let me know you felt that way until now and that’s why I didn’t think you’d react the way you had. You have to open up too.”
“No, it’s not good to tiptoe around.”
“It’s exactly as I said. I’m building this house for us. I want you there with me, but if you’re not ready, I get it. I’ll be upset, but I’ll understand that maybe you need to warm up to it some. I know what love feels like. What real love feels like. I worried I’d never find it and that was getting inmyway. Making me not just be me and being someone I’m not makes me unhappy, which in turn hurts relationships. Like today. But you need to just open your mind more. None of this was meant as an insult and you took it that way. Maybe I’m more hurt over the fact you thought I was proving I was better than you when I’ve never felt that way.”
“All things my grandmother pointed out. I overreacted. I’m stressed about Baylee being out of jail.”
