“It’s not my only concern. Don’t you just want to not worry about work for a day? Get up and go play pickleball or drink mimosas with breakfast, have a latte and an ice cream cone for lunch, then go home and watch Hallmark movies in the afternoon?”
Her mother was laughing so hard there might be tears in the corner of her eyes. “Oh God, Jocelyn. That doesn’t even warrant a reply. Now I know you’re joking with me.”
She really hadn’t been but laughed along with her mother. Maybe there was a part of her that had this perfect dream retirement she felt her mother deserved.
The only part of the description that might be true was ice cream in the afternoon.
Sometimes she let silly things fill her brain. Ideas she thought were what her parents should do in retirement. Just the same as where she’d thought she’d be at thirty-four.
A married woman with a baby. Maybe two. Running the family office like her mother had done while managing a household and raising children.
She was none of those things.
Not married and nowhere close to it.
No kids. Not that she’d have one without being married. Unless she got desperate and saw her clock ticking faster than it was.
Didn’t manage the office or anything more than a department at work, either.
She didn’t count running her household. Her thousand-square-foot condo barely took much to maintain.
“That’s me,” she said. “A joke a minute.”
Her mother moved back and she returned to the chair in front of the desk. “What’s on your mind?”
She shrugged. “Not much.”
Her mother sighed. “I know when my daughter is letting her mind wander and take control. I know you’re thrilled for Gabe and Elise.”
“Of course I am,” she said, her eyebrows rising.
“But you’re thinking of where you thought you’d be in your grand plan.”
“Maybe.”
“Stop planning it all out, Jocelyn. That’s when you get down on yourself. Life is about mixing it up. Living in the moment. Experiencing things out of your comfort zone.”
“No, thank you,” she said.
Her mother rolled her eyes. “That’s your problem. Life throws curveballs. Fast ones. Ones you can’t jump out of the way from quick enough, and the only way to handle them is to end up kissing the dirt, or take one to the face to get your attention.”
“What the hell, Mom. That’s kind of harsh of you.” Her mother could be blunt, but this was more than she was used to hearing.
“It is. You need that in your life too. Stop beating yourself up for not being where you thought you’d be. For trying to find the right guy rather than the guy that makes you happy.”
“The right guy will make me happy,” she said, grinning.
“He will. But the harder you search and wish for it, the more impossible it feels. You’ve built up this idea in your head of what’s right and perfect, but no one is. Least of all you.”
“Hey!”
Her mother laughed. “Just saying. Open your eyes. Take what is in front of you and learn to work around it. You know, master the art of compromise.”
“I guess there isn’t anything you want to show me in terms of work. You realize I know exactly what you’re doing.”
“What’s that?” her mother asked, lifting her chin.
“Trying to annoy me enough to move on and go back to my office and leave you alone.”
