“Almost the same as girlfriend life except he thinks he gets to boss me around again.”
We all laughed.
“What about the honeymoon? Did you have fun?” Yancy asked.
“Oh, yeah. Though I think that’s where he got the idea that he could boss me around. I let him get away with it during my constant post-orgasmic haze.”
Our server, Katie, returned just as Lucy answered Yancy’s question, my cappuccino in her hand. She stopped next to me, her eyes wide.
“Oh, uh….” Katie closed her mouth and cleared her throat. “Let me get you some glasses and water. I’ll, um, be right back.”
She almost turned and walked away with my cup but seemed to remember at the last second that she’d brought it for me. Her smile was apologetic as she set the large, white cup and saucer in front of me before she scurried off.
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Chelsea said to Lucy. “You frightened our poor server.”
“If she finds a post-orgasmic haze frightening, I feel bad for her,” Lucy retorted.
We all choked back laughs because Katie was already returning with two water glasses and champagne flutes.
“The bread basket and mini butter board will be out shortly. Can I get you anything else while you look at the menu?” she asked.
We all shook our heads. Conversation slowed as Lucy and Chelsea filled their champagne flutes from the dispenser. Lucy even grabbed my empty glass and filled it up, too, even though I was still sipping my cappuccino because I wanted to finish it while it was hot.
We chatted about nothing and everything until Katie returned to take our order and bring the bread basket and butter board.
As we dug in, Chelsea looked at me and asked, “Are you dating anyone?”
I froze with a slice of bread in one hand and a knife smeared with cinnamon sugar butter in the other. “I’m sorry. What?”
I think all of my friends leaned forward at the same time, like cats with prey in their sights and preparing to pounce.
“Holy shit! You’re dating someone?!” Chelsea asked, her voice much louder. “Who is he? When do we get to meet him?”
I dropped the bread on my plate, set my knife next to it, and reached for my full glass. Lifting it to my lips, I drained half of it before I answered. Could I consider two nights of insanely hot sex as dates? I decided yes.
“I am sort of seeing someone but it’s really, really new. As in, we’ve only been out twice, and we have plans for tonight.”
Lucy squealed and clapped her hands. “Who is he?”
I shook my head and drained the rest of my glass before holding it out to her to refill it. “I’m not answering that because nothing may come of it. Like I said, we’ve only been out twice, and our third date is tonight. For all I know, we may decide not to go out again.”
I really hoped that wasn’t the case, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. If I didn’t hope, I wouldn’t be disappointed. I’d learned that the hard way since my grandparents died.
Chelsea pushed for a bit more information but in a playful way. Everyone else took me at my word and let it lie. We’d been friends long enough for them to know I wouldn’t share until I was ready.
The conversation moved on from that subject, and we ordered food and another jar of mimosas. The atmosphere was light and fun, like our brunches before my friends started pairing off. I hadn’t realized how much I missed spending time with them. The fact that I was no longer having lunch with them several times a week didn’t help either. Working at the gallery with Davide made me happy, but it also isolated me in a way I hadn’t been before.
I’d spent so much of my childhood in solitude and in homes where I felt like I didn’t quite belong. My grandparents obviously loved me, but they didn’t really have the energy to keep up with their five-year-old granddaughter when I’d moved in with them. Though they never said anything about having someone else take me, I’d worried they would do the same thing to me that my mother had and just drop me off somewhere, never to return. I learned through therapy and lots of introspection that I needed to be around people I cared about. And who cared about me. If I spent too much time alone I tended to spiral into anxiety and negativity.
I needed to spend time around people. I needed to feel loved and wanted. All humans need contact, but I always felt my need seemed to run deeper than everyone else’s. I craved the verbal acknowledgement that my presence wasn’t just appreciated but deeply desired.
Once food was eaten and another dispenser of mimosas was consumed, we paid our tickets and were heading out of the restaurant. I’d ordered a rideshare to drop me off at the restaurant and Chelsea insisted that she could give me a ride home. Well, her boyfriend, Landen, was driving us since we were both tipsy as hell.
Hugs were exchanged, and we all headed to our cars. Tanya had driven herself since she wouldn’t be drinking, but Lucy and Chelsea had both been dropped off by their guys. Before we reached Landen’s SUV, Chelsea put a hand on my arm, stopping me.
“Hey, I know you don’t want to get too deep into it right now, but if you need to talk to someone about this new guy you’re dating…I’m here.”
I smiled at her. “I know. I just…”
