“Hellooo.”
I blinked and focused on Davide. Nick had wandered off to the other end of the bar, leaving us alone again.
“Was it a pleasant trip?” he asked, picking up his mojito.
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“Want to tell me about it?”
I shook my head and sucked back the last two swallows of my first drink before reaching for my second. “Not right now. Maybe in a few weeks. It’s still a little too—” I paused, trying to think of the right word. “Raw.”
“Everything okay?” Davide asked.
“Yeah,” I answered, forcing a small smile to curve my mouth as I met his probing gaze. “Just figuring some stuff out.”
Though we hadn’t been hanging out together long, Davide already understood me well enough to know that I would need some time to sort through my feelings internally before I discussed them with anyone else.
“Well, if you don’t need my wisdom, let’s drink up and get something to eat. I was serious when I said I wanted to come over tonight. Once we have some numbers crunched, I’ll know for sure if I can afford you.”
Just as Davide finished his statement, Nick approached, overhearing his words. “I’m guessing you’re ready to order some food, then?” he asked.
“We’ll have the ceviche and the empanada platter,” Davide answered.
He didn’t bother to ask me what I wanted, which made me roll my eyes, but I didn’t argue. Even if I’d taken the time to look at the menu, I always ended up ordering the same thing—which was exactly what Davide told Nick to bring us.
“It’ll be right out,” Nick said, knocking on the bar before he walked away.
Davide turned to me, opening his mouth to speak, but I beat him to the punch.
“Why haven’t you and Nick ever gone out?” I asked him. “He flirts with you all the time.”
He blinked at me, obviously taken aback by my sudden segue. “Pardon?”
“You heard me,” I replied, committing to the question. I normally didn’t blurt them out like that, but I couldn’t seem to help myself tonight.
Davide drained the rest of his first mojito and picked up the second, staring down into the glass as though it held all his secrets. “Nick’s a really nice guy.”
That’s all he said.
Raising my eyebrows, I asked, “And?”
He released a heavy sigh before he turned his eyes to me. “Nice guys want to settle down, and I’m not sure I’m ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. Until I am, it wouldn’t be right to set him up to be hurt.”
That made perfect sense. And was a painful reminder of the thoughts I was trying to avoid because it was eerily similar to my situation with Elijah Lawson. Only, in my situation, I was Nick, and Elijah was in Davide’s role.
“How do you know you’re not ready?” I asked.
When Davide shot me a hard look, I lifted my left hand in a gesture for him to calm down. “I’m not accusing you of anything, D. I’m just trying to understand. Why do you think you’re not ready?”
Davide’s eyes wandered over to the end of the bar where Nick was talking to some other regulars. “Because the idea of giving my all to someone and still fucking it up…of not being happy in the long run…” He sipped his drink. “It terrifies me.”
I nodded at his words because I completely understood what he was saying, only from my own perspective. I didn’t want to invest my emotions in someone who wasn’t ready and end up hurt, disappointed, and still alone. While I felt like Davide was missing out, it was good that he was considerate enough to worry that he would hurt Nick.
“You realize that I have the same sort of fears, right?” I finally asked.
“But you want something long term.”
“That’s true, but I didn’t hear you say that you didn’t. I heard you say that you were scared you’d do everything in your power to make a relationship work and it wouldn’t. Or that you still wouldn’t be happy. That’s not the same thing as saying you don’t want to be with the same person for the rest of your life.”
