"You asshole!" Dylan yelled.
The oak tree above them shivered and dumped a shower of acorns on the man, who could only manage a thin moan in response.
Before Dylan could say or do anything else, a huge, green mountain in the general shape of a man landed in front of her. The green mountain roared and reached down to pick up Larry by the scruff of his neck, shaking him like a terrier with a rat.
Larry yelped and yodeled as the shaking continued.
After a few seconds, Dylan realized that the huge, green figure was in fact Clay in his troll form. And that he strongly resembled a certain superhero from comic books.
With a sigh, she walked around him and hooked her hand in his elbow. At her touch, he stopped throwing Larry around like a ragdoll and looked down at her.
"It's okay, Clay," she said. "He's human and he can't hurt me now."
"Smash," Clay replied, his voice so deep that it vibrated the very air around them.
Larry squeaked and tried to squirm out of Clay's grasp but the troll turned to growl at him. The sound was eerie and seemed to echo through the yards of the surrounding neighbors.
All around them, the dogs of the neighborhood started howling.
Honestly, if she'd been human, Dylan would have done exactly what Larry did in that moment—wet his pants.
"Clay, it's okay. Don't eat his face."
"Hungry."
"I know, but wouldn't you rather have a nice juicy steak or burger? Less tiny bones and almost no chance of bacteria."
Larry's legs bicycled in the air as though was trying to run away even though his feel weren't touching the ground. "N-n-n-n-nonononono," he mumbled.
"Ugh," Clay grunted. "Stinky."
Dylan frowned up at him until the smell hit her. It appeared Larry had also crapped his pants.
"Don't hurt him, Clay," she said, trying a different tack. "He's not in his right mind. And if you eat him, then the police will never be able to arrest him."
Clay looked down at her and winked. Dylan realized then that his monosyllabic responses were for Larry's benefit rather than from his change of form.
"Put him down," she sighed. "And shift back. I'll go grab my phone and call the cops."
Before Clay could do as she asked, Larry released a sigh and fainted. His head lolled forward and his body fell limp.
Despite his anger, Clay was almost gentle as he lowered the other man to the ground.
"I'll be right back," she said.
When Dylan returned to the backyard, she had added a bra to her ensemble and already had a 9-1-1 dispatcher on the line.
She'd also brought Clay a pair of shorts and a t-shirt because he was naked as a jaybird.
She discovered that Larry was now tied up on the ground, still unconscious.
"Thanks," Clay said as he took the shirt and shorts from her. As he dressed, he asked, "Who is this guy, anyway? You talk about him like you know him."
"That's because I kind of do," Dylan admitted, covering the mic on her cell phone. "When I was using the human dating apps, I went on two dates with him. We didn't really click so I told him that he seemed like a sweet man, but that we didn't mesh."
Clay winced. "Ouch. Kiss of rejection-related death."
Dylan shrugged. "It was better than me telling him that I thought he was a mama's boy and immature, which he was. Is. Whatever."
