My hands trembled as I drove home. Every few seconds, I would glance in the rearview mirror to check and see if J.J.'s headlights were still there.
The tremors that shook my extremities weren't from fear or regret. Yes, I was a bit nervous, but more, I was excited.
I was about to get something I'd always wanted—a night with J.J. McClane.
There were nerves there. I worried that I would do something he didn't like. Or that he would realize I was a virgin and call the whole thing off.
But that was unlikely to happen. It was only in the most technical sense that I was a virgin.
I may not have had sex with a man before, but I had purchased a couple of toys when I'd moved into my own home.
As long as I lived with my parents, I wouldn't have dared. If my brothers had found my discreet vibrator or the extremely life-like dildo I'd purchased, they would have tormented me endlessly and without mercy.
The only thing that might give away my inexperience was how I responded to him. How I touched him.
I didn't have time to ponder it any longer because there was my driveway, up ahead on the left.
I flicked on my blinker and turned into it, following the long, winding gravel drive for nearly a quarter-mile until it stopped at the carport on the side of what was once my grandmother's house but now belonged to me.
I parked the car and shut it off. I stared out the windshield and took a couple of deep breaths before I climbed out. J.J. was getting out of his truck as well and he came around the front of his vehicle toward me.
"I didn't realize your grandmother left you her house," he said.
I shrugged. "I was surprised, too, but my mom and brothers didn't seem to mind, so I moved in when I graduated with my bachelor's." I took my keys out of my clutch. "Follow me."
J.J. was a solid presence behind me as I climbed the two concrete steps on the side of the house that led into the screened porch.
I unlocked the screen door and crossed to the side door leading to the house.
J.J. didn't speak as I unlocked that door and went inside. He shut the door behind us and turned the lock.
That small gesture seemed to emphasize the fact that we were now alone.
I hadn't turned on the overhead light, so the only illumination came from the small fixture over the sink that I left on at night so I could see if I needed a drink or a midnight snack.
J.J. hadn't moved from the door. He leaned back against it, his hands behind his back, and stared at me in the dim kitchen.
I placed my clutch and keys on the kitchen table and curled my fingers around the back of one of the four chairs that surrounded it. And I waited. I kept my gaze on him and tried to seem relaxed even though my muscles were humming with energy and desire. I wasn't sure what my next move should be, so I would wait until he spoke.
"It's, um, been a while since I've done anything like this," J.J. finally said.
"I could say the same," I replied.
Ha! The same? More like I'd never done anything like this.
"You do still want me here, right?" he asked.
I understood then that he was uncertain. Apparently, I'd missed some cue and he thought I'd changed my mind.
I took two steps forward until I was in his personal space. My hand lifted and rested on the lapel of his suit, smoothing down a few inches of the fabric.
"Yes, I do want you here," I stated. "Will you stay?"
His answer was to catch hold of my wrist and use his grip on my arm to pull me even closer. When I was close enough to rest against the front of his body, he released my arm and used both hands to cup my face.
"Nothing could make me leave except you asking me to."
I smiled up at him and he returned it.
