"I know, but I can pay for the doctor visits out-of-pocket until then. It'll be difficult, but I can manage—"
"And what am I supposed to do while you scrape together the pennies to see a doctor? Twiddle my thumbs? Maybe take up knitting?"
I flinched again at the hard tone in his voice. This was exactly what I'd been afraid of. Anger radiated in every line of his body now. I could see it.
"Stop cringing away from me, dammit," he said, but the heat was out of his voice now.
He sounded defeated.
I wanted to cry. I'd been so worried about myself and what I was going to do that I hadn't even thought about how this would affect him. Well, I had, but that's why I'd been avoiding this very conversation. I knew he was going to be upset.
"I've only known for about a week and a half," I confessed. "I'm still getting used to the idea myself. I honestly didn't know if I could handle whatever your reaction might be."
Despite my battle against them, the tears trickled down my cheeks.
"I was afraid you'd be angry with me, blame me, and—"
Suddenly, J.J. was right there, in my space. He hugged me and I leaned in, holding onto him for all I was worth.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please don't cry."
"I'm okay, just emotional," I answered, my voice breaking at the end of the statement. "Apparently, it's hormones and it only gets worse."
He chuckled, the vibration humming beneath my cheek where it rested against his chest.
"I didn't realize that you just found out," he said. "You didn't notice you'd missed a period?"
I shrugged. "Sometimes, when I'm stressed out or really busy, I miss periods anyway, so I didn't think anything of it."
His arms tightened around me. "I'm sorry."
I lifted my head and looked up at him. "For what? Getting me pregnant? Like I told Cam, it took both of us. I'm not sure how it happened, but it is what it is."
He grimaced. "Don't say that in front of Cam and Sierra. They hate that saying."
I smiled. "I know."
He grinned back at me then grew serious. "Be honest with me. Are you thinking about giving up the baby or terminating?"
I shook my head. "No. I always wanted kids. Maybe not now and definitely not this way." I saw his face close up and I smacked his chest lightly. "I mean while I wasn't married, Jay. Don't look like that."
He stared down at me in silence for a long moment and said, "You don't have to do this alone. We can get married this weekend."
I shook my head. "That's not why I said that. It wasn't a hint!"
I tried to pull away, but he kept his hold on me.
"I know it wasn't. You're too much of a straight shooter for that. But it would solve a lot of the biggest issues, right? I can put you on my insurance immediately once we're married. I'd be able to help with medical bills. You could quit your cleaning jobs and focus on school and working here. And I could help you when you needed it during the pregnancy. And once the baby is born, I want to be there. I—." He cleared his throat. "I don't want to miss anything."
Oh, the evil man. He was softening me with his lists. Somehow, he knew exactly what to say to get me to consider this craziness.
"I don't know, Jay. I need to think about it."
He squeezed my waist lightly. "I know you do. But please don't think too long. You need to go see a doctor. I'll pay for it."
Someone knocked on the door. Well, it was more like someone beat on the door with a fist, making us both jump.
"You okay, Lee?" Cam called. "Do I need to beat on my brother for you?"
