I tried to go to sleep myself, but I couldn't.
That's how I found myself with my phone in my hand a little after two a.m.
I shouldn't text Ben. He was asleep and he probably wouldn't hear the message.
Even as I listed all the reasons I shouldn't do it, I found myself typing out the message.
I'm back in town. I'm ready to talk whenever you are.
I was going to leave it there, on my phone, and send it in the morning. But my thumb moved of its own accord and hit the send button.
Shit.
Well, there was no taking it back. I waited for a few minutes and when there wasn't a reply, I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it hadn't woken him up. He'd see it in the morning and realize how desperate I was, but it gave me a few hours to come to terms with it.
I turned off the lamp and put my phone to the side, settling into the bed for a nice long night of insomnia. I figured I'd lie here for the next hour and try to fall asleep and if that didn't work, then I would read or something.
I closed my eyes but they popped open again immediately when my phone chimed.
I was afraid to look, I really was, but I did it anyway.
I lifted the phone and saw that Ben had answered my message.
Call me tomorrow. We'll set up a time to talk.
I was both relieved that he'd replied but also freaked out by what he'd said. My brain immediately started ticking away, analyzing that short text and the possible subtext of his words.
While I was glad he hadn't ignored me, I worried that this wasn't going to end well for me.
I steeled myself. Either way, I had to find out. Knowing was better than sitting here torturing myself about what he might or might not say.
* * *
I barely slept that night,as I expected. When I woke up and shuffled into the kitchen that morning, I found Colette there, eating breakfast with Cam at the bar.
"Good morning, Sierra," she said.
I tried to answer with real words but only managed a grunt.
I shambled to the coffee maker and stuck a pod in the machine. I pressed the button and tried to blink my eyes back into focus. God, Cam was right. I had to start sleeping more than two or three hours a night.
I jumped when Cam appeared beside me and stuck a mug beneath the spout just in time to catch the first few drops of coffee from the machine.
"Thanks," I murmured.
That would have been messy.
"You okay?" she asked.
My stomach twisted. Here was my friend, who had just had her heart broken, and she was asking me if I was okay. God, I didn't deserve such a good friend. "Too much pizza kept me awake last night," I lied.
"You mean it wasn't the text you were waiting on that came through at 2 a.m.?"
Tears filled my eyes. Crap. She'd heard. I looked at her, begging her with my gaze not to talk about it in front of her mother.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she said, touching my shoulder gently.
I gathered my strength and closed my eyes, willing the tears away. They were gone when I lifted my eyelids. "It's okay. I'm okay."
