19
Practicality kicked in about the same time I walked through the door of my apartment.
I'd already made up my mind that I wanted to stay in Farley and work with Cam but I hadn't asked her how she felt about me going from a silent partner to working side-by-side with her full-time.Cravewas her baby and I didn't want her to feel like I was being pushy or assuming too much.
God, I hoped she was okay with it because I needed some sort of job or I would go crazy. Just because I was a homebody didn't mean that I was lazy. Even if my body wasn't that active, my thoughts were constantly zooming all over the place.
I set the box of things from work on the counter. Considering I was rarely in the office and I'd purged a lot of junk when they moved me after my promotion, there wasn't a lot in it. I dropped my purse and keys next to it and kicked off my shoes. I needed to call Cam, but I had more pressing matters. Like the work clothes I was wearing.
I basically lived in leggings and tees, so the slacks and button-down shirt I currently wore felt more like a straitjacket rather than everyday apparel.
Five minutes later, wearing fuzzy socks, ultra-soft leggings, and a baggy t-shirt I stole from Ben, I picked up my cell phone and pulled up Cam's number. It was one of the few on my favorites list. The rest of the numbers were Colette's, Malcolm's, J.J.'s, and Ben's. My parents were last on the list. I'd given up trying to reach out to them. I was pretty sure they screened my calls if the timing was inconvenient.
I pulled my leg up beneath me as I plopped on the couch and chewed on my thumbnail. It was probably best to get this over or I'd drive myself nuts worrying about what Cam might say.
I hit the call button and waited. The phone rang and rang for so long I was worried I was going to have to leave her a message, which would surely be a disaster.
Just as I was about to give up, she answered, "Hey! How's the first day back in the office?"
My mind froze. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I'd dumped my problems with Ben all over her, I didn't need to add this to it.
"It is what it is." My mouth managed to say the right thing this time. "But I'm probably going to come back and work remotely for the foreseeable future, if that's okay with you. And, I probably do need to go ahead and find a place to live."
"I'd like that," she said quietly. "I didn't realize how much I missed you until you were gone again. If you're not serious about staying, you better tell me now because I might just have a meltdown if you leave again."
Tears welled up in my eyes and I sniffed hard. Shit, I was turning into a girl. "Does that mean you'd be okay with me working with you for the foreseeable future?"
"Of course I am. At a risk of sounding clichéd, I feel like we're back in college and it's so much fun to go to work in the morning." She paused. "And it's okay to cry sometimes," she said as if she could see my tears through the phone. "Especially around me. You don't have to pretend that you don't have emotions like one of your computers."
I rolled my eyes, my tears forgotten. "I don't pretend like I'm emotionless. I just don't feel all weepy at the drop of a hat."
"If you say so," she replied. Before I could open my mouth to say something snarky, she continued, "This will also give you a chance to make things right with Ben."
Fuck it. I was going to cry. At least she could only hear me blubber instead of seeing me with my puffy eyes and red nose. After everything that had happened today and all my realizations, I was overwhelmed with emotions.
Should I have talked to Cam about it? Probably, but for the first time in my life, the non-existent filter between my brain and mouth had turned into a stone wall. None of my thoughts made it past my chest.
"Don't you dare tell anyone you heard me cry," I sniffled. "I'll never speak to you again."
"Whatever," Cam scoffed. "You can't live without me."
"If you say so." I threw her words back at her, but she had a swift answer.
"I do."
My laugh was watery, but it stemmed the flow of tears and snot. What? Crying isn't pretty like in the movies. Just like sex. If you do it right, it's kinda gross.
"When will you be back?" she asked.
I closed my eyes because she sounded excited. Beneath my exterior emotionally charged state, I was excited, too.
"Probably at the end of the week. I've got some things I need to take care of, but I should be able to stay for a few weeks before I have to come back to Dallas." I would tell her about quitting my job when I got there. We could celebrate. I hoped.
"Good. Good. Take your time. Lee and I are getting along great, so we'll be able to make it until you get back."
"Have you seen—" I didn't finish the question. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"Ben?" Cam supplied. "No, I haven't seen him, but Brody said he's been grumpier than usual the past couple of days."
