That wasn't exactly a lie. Technically. Ugh. Being a good friend sucked and being a bad friend sucked, too. I just couldn't win in this situation.
"I thought since you said you liked him that maybe—"
I shrugged. "He is pretty and I do like him, but..."
I. Would. Not. Blush.
For once in my life, my face cooperated and my cheeks didn't heat up in my impersonation of a boiled lobster.
"But we decided to be friends," I finally said.
Somehow, she saw it. She knew that I wanted more than friendship, but she immediately misunderstood it. Just like I'd been afraid of. "Sierra, if you like him as more..." She trailed off, her gaze both concerned and gentle.
"I do like him," I admitted. "Enough to make sure he stays a friend because I don't want to make things weird."
"It doesn't have to be weird," she replied.
"He's the brother of the guy you were making out with on Sunday, remember? How could it not get weird?"
"Sierra—"
"Cam, I've told you before that I don't want to do the relationship thing. If I get involved with him, even if it's just casually, and it goes bad, you know that you'll feel torn between loyalty to me and all the years you've known him. I'm not putting you in that position," I stated, my voice firm.
She sighed. "I understand." Her eyes were still searching as she looked at me. "But I am glad that y'all get along."
"Me, too."
"Okay, well, now that I've established you're not dead in a ditch somewhere, I'm going to bed."
"Night," I called after her as she disappeared down the hall to her room.
I considered going to bed but I was wired. And sexually frustrated.
There was no way I'd be able to sleep.
Guess I'd go ahead and look at that email Mr. Barnes sent me.
Maybe after I read the quarterly update emails that Cam had been sending me. I'd been meaning to since the day we'd decided to hire an assistant manager, but that woman worked me down to a nub. I wanted Cam to succeed but she'd made it clear that she wasn't going to take financial risks without my approval. I needed to bone up on her newest business plans so she wouldn't refuse out of hand when I tried to invest more money.
I just hated that it had taken me so long to do it. Cam would probably say, "Better late than never."
But I still felt guilty because I'd not only fallen down on my professional responsibility as her partner, I'd fallen down on my responsibilities as her friend and those were a hell of a lot more important.
