Cam was silent for a protracted moment before she finally said, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
I raised my head and rested my chin on my hand. "Yeah. I know. I'm just...not ready to say it out loud yet. I'll tell you about it. Just not tonight. Tonight I want to drink a glass of wine and go to sleep. Anything but think."
I was too tired to talk about all this heavy stuff tonight. If I did, there was no telling what I might blurt out to her.
"Okay. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll listen," she said, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Want me to bring you that wine?"
I shook my head. "Nah. I'll get up in a minute and grab it. Go sext your man."
Her mouth fell open, lifting my spirits just a bit. "Excuse me?"
I smirked at her. "Don't pretend you weren't about to climb him like a schoolyard jungle gym. Things were getting really hot in that kitchen. I may not have been in the best mood when I came home, but even I could feel the sexual tension dripping from the walls."
"Dripping?" she asked with a grimace.
"Bet it wasn't the only thing," I joked, giving her a light jab with my elbow.
"You're gross. Remind me why we're friends again," she said with a little gag.
"Because I always tell you the truth, even when you don't necessarily want to hear it."
"And what's the truth?" She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked down at me.
"That you've had feelings for this man for years and years and years. It's clear that he reciprocates, so maybe it's time to take a chance and see where it leads."
"I already knew that," she said.
"Yeah, but you still need me for moral support. Eventually, one of you is going to screw up and you'll need me to supply ice cream and a shoulder to cry on."
"I can supply my own ice cream," she shot back.
"Quit being such a pain in the ass and admit that you love me."
"Fine. I love you. God knows why," she said with a sigh.
"I knew it." I nudged her with my elbow a little harder.
"Okay, you go get your wine. I'm going to bed. I have to get up early in the morning." She rose from the bed and headed toward the door, stopping just by the jamb. "Thanks for taking over the shop so I could have a weekend off. I didn't realize how much I needed it."
I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face. "No problem. I really enjoyed it. I've spent so many years working on my laptop with my ass planted on my couch that I've forgotten what it's like to put in a full day's work and see actual, physical results." I studied her for a minute and asked on a whim, "Would you mind having me here for a while longer?"
"Of course not. It's nice to have some help. Are you thinking of extending your vacation?"
I didn't speak for a long moment as my brain raced. This was one of those times I'd spoken without thinking, but now that I'd said it, my thoughts were moving so quickly that I couldn't keep them all straight.
One thing was clear to me though. After one week, I wasn't ready to go back to my regular life. I liked spending time with Cam again. I liked working with her.
So, I let my brain keep doing the talking for me and blurted out, "I'm thinking of looking for a house to rent. Or buy. I haven't decided yet."
Yeah, I had no idea where that had come from either. It'd been in the back of my mind that I could live close to here and still work for the company that employed me, but this was the first time those thoughts had coalesced into actual statements.
Cam's eyes were huge. I knew the feeling. "What about your job?" she asked.
"I mostly work remotely and it's not like it's a long haul to Dallas from here. Only a couple of hours. If I absolutely have to go to the office, it's doable." As I spoke, I realized it was all true. I could make it work if I really wanted to. I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling the tears in the back of my throat. "I missed you more than I realized. At least until tonight when you wouldn't let me wallow."
And that was it in a nutshell. Tonight had reminded me of the fact that I missed seeing Cam. When I was busy with work, I only noticed it on the weekends. But now that I was around her every day, I didn't want to go back to only seeing her once every couple of years.
"What are friends for?" she asked.
I had to shrug so she wouldn't know that I was close to crying. "Beats me."
She flipped me off when she left the room and the only way I kept from crying was to laugh.
