Ben grinned and shrugged. "I don't know anything about parenting either, apart from watching Jacks drive Brody crazy. But you're a genius and I'm not a complete idiot so I think we could figure it out."
I'd never thought about having kids before.
"If kids are a deal-breaker—" he started
"They're not," I interrupted. I cleared my throat. "I just never considered it so it's a bit of an adjustment."
I tried to envision being pregnant, but my brain couldn't wrap around that. But I could imagine holding a baby with Ben's eyes. A baby that would grow up with Ben as his or her father. Despite what he said, I knew he would be an amazing father. He was patient, loving, and incredibly hands-on.
"I'll have to think about it longer than thirty seconds, but I'd definitely be willing to consider it in the future," I admitted.
Ben smiled at me. "That's all I could ask for."
I didn't bring up what he said about marriage. The baby thing had thrown me for a loop, but surprisingly, I didn't mind the idea of being married to Ben.
I understood then. This was for real. For the first time, the idea of being tied to someone in a permanent way didn't terrify me. Well, it did, but not in the same way. I didn't feel trapped. I was afraid I would mess it up.
The fear was so sharp that I grabbed Ben's hands, holding them tightly. "Please just promise me one thing."
"If it's in my power, I will."
I took a deep breath. "If I'm screwing things up, or if I'm doing something wrong, please talk to me. Give me a chance to fix it before you give up on me."
Ben released my hands and pulled me into his arms. "Hey, don't cry. That is definitely something I can promise." He hugged me tightly. "If things aren't good, we'll always talk about it."
"I'm not—" I touched my cheek and stopped talking. Shit, I was crying. I leaned deeper into him. "I don't think I could stand it if this goes bad."
"Then we'll both work on keeping it good. Right?"
I nodded, my cheek against his shoulder.
He released me and cupped my cheeks with his hands, wiping away a few stray tears with his thumbs. "I'm in this just as deep as you are, Sierra. You're not the only one who's vulnerable and afraid, okay?"
The breath I took was jerky and shallow, but it helped enough that I could speak. "Okay."
Ben kissed me, light and sweet. "Let's focus on right now and I promise you it will work out in the end."
I curled my fingers around his strong wrists, holding on to him. "Don't break my heart, Ben Murphy."
He kissed me again. "I won't, Sierra Watkins. I promise."
