He didn’t expound upon that, so I crossed my arms over my chest and stared into his dark blue eyes. “Why?” I truly wanted to know.
“Several reasons.”
When he paused, I lifted my brows. “Really? That’s your answer.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets but remained in the doorway. I sensed it was his effort to keep me from leaving rather than giving me space.
“The last woman I dated couldn’t handle it. She was convinced that Maris and I were still having sex. That all the traveling we did together, all the times we saw each other, we were fucking every chance we got. I’d already fucked up by disappearing on you and I didn’t want to give you more ammunition to convince you that I wasn’t worth the risk.”
“Give me some fucking credit, Landen,” I shot back. “I’m not insecure. Would I have wondered at first? Absolutely, but if you’re telling the truth, it would have become obvious pretty damn quick if you and Maris still had the hots for each other. I’m not an idiot and I’m not the jealous type. I know that you have a past, just like I do. I may not be friends with all of my exes but I don’t necessarily hate them all either.”
He took a single step forward. “Are you saying that you wouldn’t have used the information to drive a wedge between us from the beginning? That you wouldn’t have seen it as a very convenient excuse to keep me from getting too close?”
My frustration boiled over and I threw my hands out. “I don’t know, Landen. You didn’t give me the opportunity to decide for myself. But I can tell you that right now I’m pissed as hell that you lied to me.” When he took another step toward me, I lifted a hand between us. “Stop moving. I realize that you need some reassurance right now but I’m not in the place to give it to you.”
He froze and stared at me with cold eyes. “Are you saying that this is the end?”
I growled beneath my breath. “No, I’m not. I am saying that I don’t want you touching me right now. I’m too angry.” I sucked in a huge breath and released it, trying to control my urge to yell at him. Screaming at him would only make this entire situation worse. “You lied to me, Landen. If you had told me a few weeks ago, before you started pushing me to move in with you, I might have struggled with it a bit. I would have had trouble believing you when you said that you were just business partners, yes, but I would have listened and given you a chance to explain. It’s not that you work with your ex-wife. It’s the fact that you lied to me. You kept this from me intentionally.Thatis where the real problem is. You insist on honesty and open communication, yet you didn’t give me the same courtesy.”
The chill faded from his eyes, leaving sincere regret behind. But his face hardened when I reached out and scooped up my purse and slung my laptop bag over my shoulder.
“We don’t have time to hash this out right now because I need to get to work and you have a plane to catch. To be completely honest, I need some time to figure out how I feel before we do.” At my final words, Landen flinched. I hadn’t meant to sling the barb at him, but it hit home just the same.
“Chelsea, I’m not leaving until we talk about this. I know I fucked up, but—”
“Stop right there,” I demanded.
“No!” he shouted. My body stilled. I’d never seen Landen lose control when he was angry, but he was definitely on the edge at the moment. He shoved his hands through his hair, mussing the dark strands and leaving a few standing straight up. “God, you have no fucking clue, do you?”
“About what, Landen?” I asked harshly.
He took a huge step forward, putting himself directly in my space. His eyes gleamed with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you. I told you that but you obviously don’t get it. I fell in love with youmonthsago and you barely deigned to speak to me. You say I’m arrogant and I know I am, but when it comes to you, it’s not arrogance that you’re seeing. It’s desperation. You said that you didn’t think I was as invested in you as you are in me, but it’s the other way around, Chelsea. You’re scared that things won’t work out and I’ll walk away?” He laughed, an ugly, harsh sound. “You have no idea. You’re the one already poised on the edge of leaving, not me. I’ve been all in from the beginning.”
“If you were all in, Landen, you wouldn’t have lied to me.”
He shook his head, the gleam in his eyes morphing into anger. “Wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t you do anything if you loved someone and you finally had a chance to have them?”
Air filled my lungs at his words, burning and hot. But he was also wrong. “No, I wouldn’t. I don’t lie to people I love.”
His jaw tightened at my words. I was telling the truth and he knew it.
Suddenly, I was exhausted. I couldn’t deal with this right now. I needed solitude and time to get my head together. I needed my emotions to settle before I would be able to handle him without being swayed by my anger. “Look, we can stand here for the rest of the day arguing about this, but it won’t change anything right now. I need to leave and you have a flight to catch.”
“When I leave today, you need to understand I’m not giving up. You need space? I’ll give it to you. But when I get back, wewilltalk about this.” I bristled at his words. He spoke as if I owed him and I didn’t appreciate it. He was the one who screwed up. “You wanted to be chased? Well, you got it. You can walk away right now, but I will run you down eventually.”
I didn’t respond. Gripping the strap of my laptop bag tightly, I moved around his still body and walked out of his bedroom with burning eyes and an aching chest.
