“But did you even look?” In all the years he’d been widowed, my father never mentioned another woman or talked about his love life.
My father fidgeted on the stool. “Well, it took a while before I was ready, but I started dating again about three years after your mom died.”
“You did?” I asked incredulously. “How come Tessa and I never met any of them?” A dull flush worked its way across my father’s cheeks and I realized I didn’t want to know why. “Don’t answer that.”
Dad sighed and put his coffee mug aside. “Tanya, you have to understand. Your mom was one in a million. There was no replacing her, which I wouldn’t have done even if I could but she was a hard act to follow. Then I had you girls to consider. Most women don’t like the idea that they aren’t the most important person in a man’s life, and I made it very clear to the women I dated over the years that you and your sister were my first priority.”
My eyes blurred with tears. “I’m sorry, Dad,” I apologized.
He patted my knee gently. “Don’t be sorry, baby. I wouldn’t have it any other way. You and Tessa are the best things that ever happened to me, aside from meeting your mother. My life would have been poorer if I hadn’t had the three of you in it.”
We sat in silence for a little while, each of us drinking our coffee and thinking our own thoughts.
“If you had met the right woman, do you think you would have remarried?” I asked. Though I wasn’t crazy about the idea of having a stepmother, I didn’t want my dad to be lonely or unhappy for the rest of his life.
“Probably.”
I glanced at him in surprise. “Really?”
“When we drafted our wills, your mother and I had a conversation about what we would do if one of us passed. I teased her that I never wanted her to remarry, that I was the love of her life and she should pine for me until the end of her days.”
I grinned at his words. That sounded exactly like something my father would say, half joking and half serious.
“Do you know what she said to me? She said that she wanted me to be happy and for our girls to be happy. She hated the idea of me being alone for the rest of my life because she worried about me. All she asked was that I not marry anyone who couldn’t love her babies as though they were their own.” Dad chuckled. “I think she realized how long it would take me to do that and said it on purpose.”
I laughed, tracing my finger over the granite countertop. That also sounded like Mom. She gave as good as she got and rarely cut Dad any slack. I think that was why he loved her so much, because her personality was just as strong as his.
“Sweetheart, what does all of this have to do with last night?” Dad asked.
I lifted my eyes to him. “It scared me, watching Lucille at the funeral. I’ve always avoided serious relationships because I see what people are capable of doing to each other when their love dies. I was ready to take a chance with Jordan until I saw Lucille Buck’s face at the funeral last week. I realized that even if Jordan didn’t want to leave me, he might anyway. Then I realized that he could be like you, left behind with children.” I shook my head, blinking back the tears that wanted to fill my eyes. “It terrifies me, Dad. I don’t know why but it does. I freaked out last night and I said so many things to Jordan that I can’t take back.”
My dad pulled me into a hug. “Oh, honey. It sounds to me like you had a good old-fashioned freak out.”
I rested my cheek on his shoulder and let the comfort of his arms around me sink in. “I think I really messed things up with him.”
Releasing me, Dad sat back so I could see his face. “I was waiting until you told me what happened, but Jordan came by last night after you went to bed. He was a wreck, sweetheart. You’ll need to tell him what’s going on in your head, but the man I saw last night will forgive you for almost anything. He didn’t want to leave, but I told him that it would be for the best, just for the night.”
I took a deep breath and wiped away a stray tear. “He was a wreck?” I asked.
“He was, honey.” Dad shifted on the stool. “There’s something else I want to tell you and I want you to listen to me. Really listen to me, okay?”
I nodded.
“Even if I had known what would happen to your mother, that I would lose her when I did, I still would have made the choice to marry her and have you and your sister. Every moment I had with her was worth it.Shewas worth the risk.” He took my hand. “And, baby, I think that if you give Jordan a chance you’ll find that you won’t regret it, even if things don’t work out like you plan.”
Once again, my eyes filled with tears and I groaned. “Stop making me cry,” I complained, swiping them away.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” he stated. “I’m going to make you breakfast while you get yourself together, then you’re going to go home, clean up, and then go talk to Jordan. Tell him everything you just told me and I’m confident that everything will work out fine.”
“Okay,” I sighed, nodding. I had to change the subject or I wouldn’t be able to stop crying. “I want my eggs over medium. None of that over easy stuff. It looks too slimy.”
“Where did I go wrong with you?” my father asked, shaking his head. “Over easy eggs are the way to go.”
“Shut up and cook me some breakfast,” I commanded. “I’m going to go wash my face again.”
After I ate breakfast, Dad walked me to the door. “Now, when you talk to Jordan, don’t be afraid to tell him everything, okay? I think he’ll surprise you.”
“He usually does,” I replied.
