Yancy’s pleased expression faded. “Why not?”
“Because I can’t do this again, Yancy. I can’t get involved in another affair with him if my heart is involved and his isn’t.”
“But you don’t know how he feels. I mean, it doesn’t sound like all he’s only interested in is sex if he’s calling you,” she argued.
“I don’t think so,” I replied.
Yancy looked to Chelsea and Grier. “Why is she so stubborn?”
I ignored the fact that she wasn’t talking to me when I answered. “I’m not stubborn, I’m right.”
Yancy shook her head, but it was Grier who spoke.
“How do you know? Have you asked him?”
Of course, I hadn’t asked him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer if it meant it would hurt.
“I can’t,” I told her.
“Why not?”
“I don’t think I could stand to listen to him try to find a nice way to reject me,” I replied.
“Do you honestly think he’s going to reject you?” Grier asked. “Because it doesn’t sound like that to me.”
“Me either,” Chelsea piped in.
“It can’t work,” I continued stubbornly.
“Why can’t it?” Yancy asked.
“It never works. Relationships end. Love dies. I see it every day.”
“So none of us should even try to find happiness or lasting relationships?” Yancy queried. “I should break up with Charles and live the rest of my life alone?”
“No, of course not. Charles is a good man.”
“What about Lucy and Chris? If you’re so convinced that relationships end, why wouldn’t you say something to her about marrying Chris?” Yancy pointed out.
“That’s different,” I answered.
“Why? Because Yancy and Lucy aren’t you?” Grier asked.
I closed my eyes then because I finally understood. For years, I’d held the conviction that love never lasted, that things would never work out. But what I really believed was that it would never happenfor me. I lost the people I cared about. That was just how my life worked.
My beliefs were based on faulty logic. I wanted my friends to have long, happy, and loving relationships. I wanted those things for myself, however much I might wish I didn’t.
In the last year, I’d seen it with my own eyes—true love was real and it only died if one or both parties didn’t nurture it.
“What am I going to do?” I asked Grier. Of the five of us, she might be the youngest, but she always gave the best advice.
“Talk to him,” she said. “Tell him that you want more than just a fling. The worst he can do is say no.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s never easy to be vulnerable with someone, especially if you’re unsure of their feelings,” she stated.
“I’m scared.”
