“For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing,” she stated.
“Am I?” I mused.
She nodded. “You and I both know that fate has something in store for the two of you.”
I considered her for a long moment. “Perhaps, but fate also needs to understand that we have our own free will.”
Kerry grinned, her eyes twinkling. “That may be true, but your free will usually brings you back to fate’s way of thinking.”
I barked a harsh laugh. She wasn’t wrong, but she also wasn’t correct. I didn’t want to debate it at the moment though. I truly wanted sleep, but I would have to stay awake until Macgrath opened his eyes once more.
And I could only hope that he would be back to his obnoxiously protective self.
“We’re going to bed,” Kerry continued. “If you need us, call out. Finn’s a light sleeper and he’ll be there in a flash if there’s a problem.”
“I will,” I promised.
She reached out and squeezed my hand. “Try not to worry too much,” she assured me. “Everything will work out in the end.”
I assumed she was talking about Rhiannon, so I nodded because I was extremely confident this would end with Rhiannon dead. It was the only safe resolution for everyone in this house.
“Goodnight, Kerry, Finn,” I bid them as they nodded at me. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
They too disappeared into their room, leaving me standing in the hallway alone.
I faced the doorway at my back and scrubbed my hands over my face one last time. I had to stay awake for an hour or two at least. Just long enough for the sleeping spell to wear off.
And I could only pray to the Goddess that whatever strange amnesia had Macgrath in its grip wasn’t deadly. For either of us.
I turned the knob and tried to enter the room silently.
I shouldn’t have bothered because Macgrath sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands.
I moved toward the mattress, hesitating at the end. I wanted to speak to him but I wasn’t sure who I was talking to. If he was Alaunus, he would be angry that I called him by another man’s name. If he was Macgrath and he didn’t know who Alaunus was, then he wouldn’t believe me.
I knew he heard me based on the thin thread of tension that ran through his body as I approached the bed.
At last, he turned and watched me walk the last few steps. I clasped my hands in front of me and looked at him, waiting to see if he would speak first.
Which he did.
“I am so sorry,” he murmured, his voice little more than a light sigh. I wasn’t even sure I’d heard him at first, until he spoke again. “I’m so damn sorry.”
He faced me then, his expression tortured. I knew immediately that I was speaking to Macgrath. His eyes were full of regret, but still guarded. Alaunus hadn’t hesitated to show me everything he was thinking or feeling. He looked at me the way Macgrath did in my dreams. Or maybe it was Alaunus I dreamed of. Somewhat dazed by the sudden realization, I took a deep breath. How could I dream of Alaunus?
And who was Alaunus? I had my suspicions that Alaunus was who Macgrath had been before he was cursed. The idea had lingered in the back of my mind since I’d cast the spell to send him to sleep earlier.
“I know you’re angry,” he continued, turning his back to me once again.
I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak, but he didn’t see and he didn’t stop speaking.
“No. Don’t excuse me. Don’t give me all the reasons I was tired or overly stressed or not in control of myself. I’ve worked for centuries to make sure I always remain in control of myself at all time.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t harm you, right?”
I shook my head, once again parting my lips to talk to him, but he didn’t even pause.
“If that ever happens again, I need you to promise me that you will lock me up immediately. Don’t ever give me a chance to…to…” He couldn’t finish this sentence and my heart softened toward him even more.
Not long after I knocked him out with the sleeping spell, I’d come to the conclusion that Macgrath wasn’t Rhiannon’s Trojan horse. At least not willingly.
