Rhys stared at me, his indecision written clearly in his expression. “Savannah,” he began.
I knew he was going to say no without even thinking about what I was asking or what I wanted. “Rhys, please,” I pleaded. “I fully understand what you will be doing and I’mstillasking you to do it. Not even asking, begging. Yesterday, after Mary left the shop, my head ached from her pain and sorrow. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hide in a dark room. After you took that from me, I felt better, more like myself. My head no longer hurt and neither did my heart. You took it away.” I had to stop and clear my throat before I continued. It felt tight with the emotions rising within me. “I have no choice but to take on the pain of others. I can’t stop it completely. I might be able to block some of it out, but not all. There is no spell or magic that can help me the way your amulet helps you. Nothing except your abilities.”
I could tell I was getting through to him. He no longer looked as though he were shutting down, so I pushed a little harder.
“I don’t want to live half of a life with you, Rhys. I want to go places with you, experience things. And, someday, we might have children who share your abilities. How will they survive? Will you call them monsters?”
He looked taken aback by my questions. “Of course not. Children are not monstrous.”
“But they could be like you,” I pointed out. “And you say you’re a monster.”
Rhys stared at me. I couldn’t feel his emotions, but I could plainly see that he was torn.
“I just want you to think about it,” I said softly. “I want you to see yourself the way I see you, but I can’t force you to change your mind.”
His chin jerked as he absorbed what I said.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, changing the subject. “I was just thinking about what to make for breakfast. Well, technically I guess it would be lunch.”
“No, I’m not hungry, but I can go pick up something for you to eat if you’d like.”
I shook my head. “I’ll just make some eggs and toast.” I got to my feet and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Do you want more coffee?”
He shook his head, his gaze unfocused as he looked out into the backyard. I knew he was thinking about everything I’d just said, but I didn’t want to continue to push him. He needed time to digest it all and he wouldn’t be able to do that if I kept talking about it.
With a heavy heart, I went back inside the house and set about making breakfast. The longer that Rhys sat on the deck, the more I began to question if I’d done the right thing. We’d only just made love for the first time last night and our relationship was still so new, even if it didn’t feel that way.
He said that he would never let me go, but that was before I pushed him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a mistake to bring it up so soon. Maybe he wasn’t as invested in me as I was in him. He’d been alone for so long, unused to compromising. Had I pushed him away with my request?
Doubts clouded my mind as I buttered toast and put scrambled eggs on my plate. My appetite had completely disappeared. Just as I was about to go back outside and tell Rhys not to worry about it, to forget everything I’d just said, the back door opened.
I looked at him, my heart in my throat, waiting for him to tell me that he couldn’t do this, or that I was asking for too much from him. Instead, he looked lighter somehow, as though he’d shrugged off some of the weight that he carried on his shoulders.
“You’re right,” he murmured. “Any children we have wouldn’t be monsters. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to see myself as you do, but even I can see that any child we create wouldn’t be evil.”
My legs nearly gave out beneath me when he spoke because that wasn’t what I expected.
“I’m willing to try feeding from you because I want to give you the life that you long for. I didn’t realize how trapped you are by your abilities and I don’t want you to feel that way.”
I smiled tremulously at him, relief filling me. “Thank you,” I murmured. “I was freaking out, thinking that I pushed you too hard, too fast, and you would decide I wasn’t worth the trouble. I’ve been sitting in here, thinking that I’d made a mistake.”
Rhys frowned and came over to me, taking me by the arms. “I don’t ever want you to question what I feel for you, Savannah.” He slid his hands down to mine, lifted them to his chest, and placed them on his heart. “This heart belongs to you. It beats for you. I never want you to feel as though you have to hide how you feel from me. You told me the truth and it will take more than that for you to turn me away.”
It seemed that Rhys wasn’t the only person who needed to adjust their thinking. I also didn’t know how to handle the fact that he’d talked about his feelings toward me several times and each time he implied that he loved me. We had only known each other for a handful of weeks, but I was already head over heels in love with him. It also seemed that he felt the same, but he hadn’t said the words.
This morning, as we made love, they’d hovered on the tip of my tongue and I’d nearly spoken them aloud, but fear held me back. Fear of sharing too much, too soon.
I wanted to say them now, to share my thoughts and feelings with him so he understood that he had my heart as well.
Before I could speak, his cell phone buzzed on the counter. He glanced down and his body went still.
“It’s Ava,” he murmured. “She was supposed to call the witch in the U.K. this morning.”
I stepped back and dropped my hands. “Do you mind putting it on speaker so I can hear what she has to say?”
Rhys nodded and picked up the phone. A few seconds later, Ava’s voice came through the speaker. “Hey, Rhys. I waited a few hours because I thought you guys might want to sleep in this morning.”
I choked back a laugh.
