“I’m sorry, Chloe.”
Unable to stand the idea of listening to him give me all the reasons why what we’d just done was a mistake, I tried to speak. “It’s okay, Lach. I—”
He lifted a hand. “Let me finish,” he demanded.
I clutched my clothes tighter to my chest and bit back my angry response.
He moved closer to me, his expression unreadable. “I shouldn’t have behaved that way with you. I…” he trailed off for a moment. “I lost control.” His voice lowered. “I could have hurt you.”
“I’m fine, Lachlan.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“Look, you don’t have to explain anything to me. We were both running on adrenaline and we did something we regret. It shouldn’t have happened.”
Lachlan didn’t respond. He put his hands on his hips and lowered his head to stare at the ground.
Without waiting to see what else he might have to say, I set off back toward the cabin.
Once I was inside, I went straight to the bathroom and locked myself inside. I dropped my clothes on the floor, turned the water on, and climbed inside the tub before it was even warm.
As the bathtub filled, I curled into a ball, wrapping my arms around my knees, and I cried.
Chapter Eighteen
Lachlan
Icould hearwater running in the bathroom when I entered the cabin. I moved to the door and listened, but there was no other sound.
I’d managed to fuck things up royally and I wasn’t sure how to untangle it all.
As soon as I’d emptied myself inside Chloe, I’d wanted to do it again immediately. Over and over until I was too exhausted to move.
And that scared the shit out of me.
Then sanity returned and I realized that I’d just fucked Chloe. Chloe, who’d taken care of me when I was in the throes of grief. The she-wolf I considered a good friend and someone I cared about deeply.
And she’d let me. I didn’t know what to think about that.
My mind was chaotic, my thoughts snarled and twisted. I walked away from the bathroom door and took a bottle of water from the fridge. As I drained it, I went outside onto the front porch and plopped down on one of the chairs.
As upset as I was by what happened, hearing Chloe call it a mistake made me angry. It hadn’t felt like a mistake at the time. It was only after that the guilt crept in.
I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes, trying to shut out my conflicting feelings. Yes, I felt guilty, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to repeat the experience. It was all so fucked up.
Let me go, my love.
My eyes snapped open as Belinda’s voice drifted through my mind, repeating the words from her letter.
“I can’t, Bee,” I whispered.
But she wouldn’t leave me. Wouldn’t let it go.
Don’t deny yourself happiness because I am gone. Release yourself from the pain and the grief. It is time.
“How?” I asked her, feeling like a crazy person for talking to someone who wasn’t there.
Her.
