“I’m sorry, Chloe,” he said. “I shouldn’t have…” he trailed off as if he wasn’t sure what to say.
“Yelled at me? Gotten angry?” I asked, shaking my head. “I understand, Lach. You don’t have to beat yourself up for telling me the truth. I know better than to go for a run alone when there’s the possibility of danger. I would have done the same if our positions were reversed.” Actually, I probably would have been angrier. Especially with him.
He shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “It doesn’t excuse it. I am…was, an alpha. If I can’t control myself, how can I control the wolves I lead?”
My grandmother often said something to that effect, which only made my desire to walk over and comfort Lach even stronger. “It’s fine. We’re good.”
God, having a mate was making me soft. If any other male wolf had yelled at me like he had, I would have handed him his balls on a platter.
He studied me for a long moment. The sun poured in through the door at his back, throwing his face in partial shadow. I couldn’t read his expression, but I could feel the weight of his stare on my skin.
“Look, about earlier…” he began.
Instinctively I knew he was referring to the erection he’d been sporting during our argument and lifted my hand. “Don’t worry about it. I know it didn’t mean anything.”
He fell silent but the tautness in his body raised a chill on my skin. Finally, he spoke, “Of course not.” Lach’s eyes never wavered from me. “Have you had breakfast?”
I shook my head.
“I’ll make something,” he stated, taking his hands out of his pockets and moving toward the stove. “Why don’t you call Sophia and give her an update?”
Grateful for a chance to put some space between us, I nodded and grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand. I stepped out of the cabin into the bright light outside and released a long breath.
Just a few more weeks, then this torture would end. I would endure it because I had no other choice.
Chapter Twelve
Lachlan
Istood atthe stove making French toast while listening to the rise and fall of Chloe’s voice as she talked to her grandmother, Sophia. My mind was back in the woods when I’d been yelling at her earlier. Only the ending of that fight was completely different in my head.
I saw myself tackling her to the ground, flipping her over, and driving deep inside her, fucking her until she submitted.
Even now, the thought had my cock growing hard.
I shook my head in disgust and confusion. What the fuck was happening to me?
Since Belinda died, my libido had been non-existent. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had an erection since then. I scowled down at the pan. If I was going to be honest with myself, I hadn’t. Not once had my interest been stirred. Until now.
Then I heard Belinda’s voice as though she were standing just behind me, whispering in my ear.
And what I want is for you to live…and to love again.
I growled under my breath as the words from her letter came back to me. In the weeks since I’d read her final words to me, I’d found it easier to get out of bed, eat, bathe, and move. My body grew stronger and my mind sharpened again.
But to fuck someone else? In my mind, it would cut the final tie I had to Belinda and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Even if I did have sex in the future, it would be nothing more than scratching an itch, sating a hunger. I would never have feelings for the women I slept with and I would never take another mate.Never.
I couldn’t allow myself to treat Chloe so callously, not after everything she’d done for me. I was certain that I would have died without her. If she hadn’t been there every fucking day, forcing me to eat and bathe, dragging me out of my house to run with my wolf, I would have faded away to join Belinda in death.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket and I pulled it out. Then I slid my thumb across the screen and lifted it to my ear.
“Yeah?”
Calder chuckled in my ear. “Is that any way to greet your alpha?” he asked.
“Yes, Master?” I replied.
