It has been so fucking long since we’ve done this, just like it’s been so long since I saw her in my property patch which I fucking miss…
As soon as she’s set up, she goes to take a seat on my stool, and I growl as I lean forward, grab her hips, making her gasp in shock before lifting her, forcing her to straddle my lap.
“This is how you tattoo me, pixie, fucking always,” I remind her, and a few tears fall.
I quickly wipe them away and pushing my luck, I lean forward kissing her lips gently, catching her off guard but before she can react, I lean back and demand, “Finish your work, pixie, it’s well over due.”
She swallows, her throat that I want to run my lips over bobs as she nods, and the sound of vibrating echoes, and this time, it does center me as she touches the needle to my skin, finishing her poem off. I close my eyes as I grip her hips, ensuring she stays on me, stays connected with me.
I fucking missed her, I missed this, and if I could turn the clock back and beg her to tell me her two truths nearly three years ago, I would, fucking instantly. I would have forced her to quit her job, had her escorted to college, I would have made sure she was fucking safe and not allowed her the freedom she demanded after looking after us for so long while I was making my club proud.
“Talk to me, pixie,” I plead quietly as I open my eyes and look at her, seeing her concentration, “Tell me what you’re thinking…”
“I’m thinking your idea of tattooing dick is a good idea,” she mumbles, and I smirk.
“I’m not the only one who takes pride in my work, pixie. Your poem about us living happily ever after is your greatest work,” I remind her and she snorts knowing I’m telling the truth. “Now if you want to tattoo dick on me, I won’t hold it against you, Iwould deserve it,” I admit quietly, and she lifts the needle off my skin as we lock eyes.
“Do you though?” she asks and I frown. Giving me a small smile, she reminds me, “If I had just told you, none of this would have happened, would it?” She sighs as she dips her needle, then continues as the buzzing echoes, and she murmurs, “Sure, you would have still wondered what ifs, but you wouldn’t have touched another woman. I kind of realized I’m not as innocent in all this, Ty, but I just don’t know if I can forgive you for going that extra mile.”
I squeeze her hips, my heart pounding so fucking hard in my chest that I’m scared it’s going to rip from my chest.
“How about instead of making big decisions, we start slowly,” I suggest, causing her to lift the needle and lock eyes with mine. “We have a son,” I begin, “we have another one on the way. I love you, and even though you really don’t want to, you love me just as much. So why don’t we begin slowly, don’t talk about divorce, slowly talk through what I did, how you felt, how I felt, have dinners together, spend time with Cole as a family. Spend our evenings back in that gazebo I built for you talking about our day, and maybe you coming to the clubhouse every once in a while to see how you feel being inside there, allowing the brothers to show you how sorry they are for not standing behind you.”
“I don’t know if I can, Ty,” she whispers, and I sit forward, cupping her cheek, my eyes racing between hers.
“I know it won’t be easy, Ash. I know I hurt you badly, I know I made a huge mistake, and I know without a doubt that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am begging you, please, just give me a chance, give yourself this chance. I’ve had to watch you date that jackass. I had to watch you pull back from me, fuck, I thought you were carrying his child. And now I have to live every day knowing what I did to you. I’m being punished, Ash.But don’t punish yourself because you know I’m your forever.” I plead and beg.
She sniffles as she cups the back of my neck and places her forehead against mine.
“I broke up with Talen,” she admits, and I swear to fuck, everything in my relaxes until she states, “and he hit me for it.”
“Motherfucker!” I curse.
He is dead, he’s fucking dead and right now, I’m making a mental note to get Dirty to find the fucker.
No one, absolutely no one puts their hands on my fucking wife!
Ash shakes her head, “It didn’t feel right around him, Ty, every time he tried to touch me, every time he kissed me,” I tense not wanting to hear this, but I don’t say anything, “It all felt wrong and when we slept together,” my jaw tenses with how hard I’m clenching my back molars but again, I allow her to speak, “I felt dirty and all I wanted to do was scrub my skin raw.” We lock eyes, “I know I belong to you and you belong to me, I know this, I just don’t know if I can move forward after everything, I don’t know how.”
“By going slowly, pixie, that is how. All I’m asking is for a chance, please baby…” I beg before pressing my lips against hers softly, and she kisses me back, making my heart flutter, before I murmur, “Just think about it. While you’re finishing your work, because it really is well over due.”
She nods, and I kiss her again while wiping away her tears before lying back and swallowing. She dips her needle again and continues her work while I fucking pray she gives me a chance, provides the club with an opportunity because the brothers also miss her, just like me.
If I have to chain her to me, then I fucking will because I won’t lose her, and if she can’t handle the clubhouse, then we’ll just buy a property off club land, plain and simple.
Her happiness, that is all I care about right now, and I’m sure Cole won’t mind as long as I and his mama are together.
Chapter 21
Ashley
I chew my bottom lip as my conversation with Ty yesterday, as I tattooed his chest, finally finishing the love poem I gave him for our first anniversary when I was eleven, comes back. I stare up at the large clubhouse building where all the brothers are while church is in session, and my hands begin to sweat.
“I know it won’t be easy, Ash. I know I hurt you big time, I know I made a massive mistake, and I know without a doubt that I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I am begging you, please, give me a chance, give yourself this chance.”
He was so sincere, pleading for a chance while my head was all over the place, not knowing what to do, just like I didn’t know what to say when Dr. Chimes asked where I wanted our sessions to go.
It was so easy to walk out when everything was still so fresh. Believing he was screwing Virginia every single day, I didn’t think he would fight for us but he has and a lot has come to light and it makes it harder to walk away. It’s been seventeen years, it’s a long time to throw away.
