Everything that I’ve done to her, all the pain I’ve put her through, this is my punishment, to watch her grow and give birth to another man’s fucking baby.
I squeeze my hands into fists where I have them crossed over my chest, trying my hardest to calm my anger, my eyes unable to look away from her fucking stomach.
A baby, she’s having another man’s baby.
The last time she was pregnant, while I found her hot a fuck, I never appreciated it because I was scared I was going to lose her. That she’d resent me like I resented her for not being able to livea little first and now, I can’t even appreciate it yet a fucking gain because she’s pregnant with that dickheads baby. The man Dirty still can’t fucking find.
Fuck, I want to break something…
“You’re back,” Ashley says, her voice like fucking music to my ears, the hello’s I’d get when I called and her calling for Cole never enough and I look at her. Our eyes connecting, her bright green ones full of pain, heartache, confusion and one she probably wants to hide – love and my stomach tightens at that emotion.
She still loves me and that is enough, even if I have to raise another man’s baby as my own, it is enough.
Five months and fuck, I finally feel at home again.
Don’t get me wrong, the guilt it is seeping through me, the pain I put her through consuming me but I can now look at her without wanting to put a bullet in my mouth.
I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, no, fuck, I need to. She’s the reason I breathe, which is something I already knew when I left, I just, fuck, I needed to make sure I could live with my guilt and I can, just like I can raise this baby as my own, for her, always for her and I’ll ensure I love it just as much as I love our son.
“You’re pregnant,” I state the obvious again, repeating myself, unable to say anything else.
Doc said she hadn’t been seen with the fucker, he swore Dirty had an eye on her, yet, here she is, fucking pregnant.
Karma, fucking Karma.
Ashley raises a perfect brow and replies, “Yeah, that tends to happen when you have unprotected sex, Trigger, you should know that already.”
My jaw ticks her calling me fucking Trigger and I squeeze my fists tighter.
I’m barely hanging on by a fucking thread and she easily says shit like that, seriously?
I know I had unprotected sex with that bitch, giving my own wife an STD, I know I deserve all this shit right now but fuck, I don’t want to hear about her having sex with that fucker when she is mine!
I eye her stomach again and I clench my teeth but my eyes shoot to hers when she speaks, pissing me off even further.
“Well,” she says, “now you’re home I can now move back out. I’ve found a two bedroom house for rent.”
Motherfucker!
I drop my arms and prowl towards her as I growl, “You take one fucking step outside of this house Ashley and I will fucking throw you back inside and tie you to the damn bed if I have to, even if I have to raise another man’s baby, you are not fucking leaving!”
“You can’t keep me here, Trigger,” she says softly only further angering me. She whispers, “We were done the moment you allowed that woman to touch you.”
“I made a mistake, Ashley, I’m not denying that,” I remind her, “Fuck, I felt like I couldn’t breathe when you told me the fucking truth but if you think I’m going to lose you now, after everything we have been through then you have another thing coming! You are not walking out of that damn door!”
Ashley looks at me for a few moments before she shakes her pretty head, turns on her heels and walks away from me, completely contradicting what I just said.
Dammit!
“Ashley!” I snap and rush after her but by the time I’ve got to the porch she’s already reversing out of the driveway.
Fucking stubborn beautiful, perfect, woman!
Did I expect her to jump in my arms after being gone for five months and forgive me? No, but I fucking hoped she’d come tothe conclusion that she needs me just as much as I need her and not continue to be stubborn.
Fuck, hit me, scream at me, force me to raise another man’s child, don’t fucking drive away!
I grab my phone and quickly send out a mass text.
