“I know, son,” I murmur, “I guess you don’t want to try and find another house off club property then?” I confirm, and I swear I hear him sniffle.
“Would Mama be mad if I said I wanted to stay here?” he asks quietly, “I know she hurts, but she feels at home here too.”
“How is your mama doing, bud?” I ask as I look out over the Huntsmen’s clubhouse, not wanting to answer his question, not really knowing how Ash would feel with him staying on club property, especially after what I did.
“She’s not crying herself to sleep anymore,” he whispers, and I hum, “No?” trying to act casual while my heart is fucking thumping.
“No, I went and checked on her last night after lights out, and she was curled up with Ginger asleep,” he replies.
Ah, yes, Ginger, the cat Brit stole for my wife to piss her husband off after she was told about his threat where Cole was concerned.
The fucker didn’t even blink when he said ‘alright’ and walked away, which further pissed his old lady off.
My wife has already been through so much. She didn’t deserve the threats from Doc, though I do sleep a little better at night knowing my family is safe even if we do have a cat now.
“Dad, she was wearing your shirt,” he admits quietly, and my heart thumps as he asks, “That has to be a good sign, right?”
“Yeah, bud,” I choke, “it’s a really good sign…”
“I haven’t seen her around Talen either,” he admits, and everything in me relaxes at his admission.
He may still be mad at me, not about the whole ‘I wanted him to be aborted shit’ because I’ve proved to him lately that I did want him, I was just scared, but the whole ‘I cheated on his mama’, and he’s proving he wants us together. According to Doc, his attitude has improved since moving back home.
Hopefully that’ll persuade Ash to stay.
“That is even better news, son,” I admit quietly, “And when I come home, I’ll ensure your mama stays, I promise, we will be a family again.”
“You really hurt her Dad, even if she tried to hide it from me, I saw it,” he whispers.
“I know, son, believe me I know and I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. It’s why I need to ride for a little while longer, so I can be a better man for your mama,” I reply, not wanting to keep anything from him and hopefully this way,he will never do this to someone, never hurt a girl and cause her to be broken.
“When will you be home, Dad?” he asks quietly, and I swallow hard.
“That’s the thing, bud, I really, really hurt your mama and I need to now learn to live with that guilt so I uh, I need to ride for a few months. Maybe four, I don’t know, but I will call every day, I’ll ensure your mama knows I’m thinking about her, I just, I need to be able to look at your mama without feeling like I’m about to fall apart.” I confess, hating that he may hate me all over a fucking again.
“I understand,” he mutters, “I promise to look after her Dad, I promise to make sure she stays away from Talen, and I promise to be good for her, until you come home.”
“I’m proud of you, son,” I whisper, “I’ll call you when I get to my next destination, but uh, can you do me a favor? Can you get your mama to answer the phone? I miss hearing her voice.”
I know I shouldn’t ask him, but fuck, I’m desperate.
“I’ll pretend I’m taking a crap,” he answers, and I laugh, a real fucking laugh.
“That’s my boy,” I say, “I love you, Cole.”
“I love you too, Dad, and so does Mama, she just needs time…”
I swallow the lump in my throat and fucking hope he’s right as I say goodbye, ready to get out on the road, wishing Ashley was behind me, holding onto me tightly. Fuck it has been so long since I had her on the back of my bike…
Soon, hopefully, I’ll have my family back, and I’ll be able to look at my wife without the guilt, instead, I’ll fucking worship her like she deserves, and if she wants to go back to college to get a career, then I’ll help and encourage as much as possible.
It’s time for her to see she will always come first, and my fuck up, the affair, was my greatest mistake.
Ashley is my one, and without her, I can’t walk this earth alone. I won’t survive.
Chapter 16
Ashley – Five Months Later
