Trigger – Two Weeks Later
“She won’t even look at me,” Doc grumbles over the line, and I roll my eyes even though the idiot can’t see me.
The fucker is lucky I’m hours away after what he told me, I want my wife back and he made things a lot fucking harder for me.
“Brother, you threatened to keep her son from her if she didn’t move back to a place I fucked another woman for a year behind her back,” I remind him for the hundredth time with a sigh, fucking fed up with the same conversation repeatedly.
I only called because I needed to talk to him about something and the fucker went straight into bitching.
His threat worked, Ash moved back home with Cole, handing in her keys for the shithole, but she has refused to step foot inside the clubhouse or even communicate with any brother.Though apparently Rose and Brittany are around quite a lot, both becoming fast friends with my wife, which I fucking love.
She never really had friends growing up, only me and the boys, and that is mainly because every girl who tried to befriend her was because they wanted access to the MC. Fuck, the one girl she did allow in her life tried to kiss me, and yes, I pushed the bitch back before my wife broke her nose.
“I didn’t know what else to do, Trigger!” Doc snaps, “If I hadn’t used Cole, she wouldn’t be back where she belongs, would she?!”
I sigh, “Doc, I had a full-blown affair on club property, and while I never fucked Virginia in our marital home, I did in the clubhouse, and being there is probably hard for her.”
I really fucked up these past two years, and I know I will never forgive myself, but I can’t live without Ashley. Don’t get me wrong, I should have already known that, I claimed her before I hit eleven, for fucks sake.
I just decided to ignore all that shit, and honestly, deep down, I wanted to see what I was missing out on, which was fuck all.
All I could think about was Ashley, but the more she pulled away from me, the angrier I found myself getting, and she didn’t deserve it, she didn’t fucking deserve any of the shit I’ve done.
The urge to grab my gun pulls, but I swallow it down as I sigh and lean against the bar. Stone's little sister, Selena, is sitting next to me, keeping me company before I leave in an hour.
I’ve been at the Huntsmen MC for about two days, stopping by as a courtesy and to make sure Selena is staying out of trouble.
Stone’s ex-wife had gotten into her head over the years, and as soon as Stone found Rose and fell in love with her, Selena turned against her. Tried splitting them up, even tried to attack Rose, but couldn’t go through with it and Rose had found out it was all because of Elsie talking quietly in her ear since she was a fucking kid, and don’t get me started with her climbing intoAce’s fucking bed naked when the man never even showed her any attention.
Rose encouraged her to leave for a little while, to get her head sorted, and she hasn’t left the Huntsmen since, finding herself a job at a school and even met herself a man, though he is a cop.
She’s settled, happy even and I’m proud with how far she’s come.
“Would you rather she still be in that fucking apartment?” he asks with force, and I clear my throat, knowing this is going to piss him off.
“Actually, I was going to look for houses off club property for her, Cole, and me,” I admit.
He denies instantly, “Fuck no! This is your home, it’s her home!”
“She doesn’t see it as her home, Doc, and aren’t you the one who mentioned the other day she’s disappearing during the day again while Cole is at school? Even suddenly quitting her job at the convenience store, no longer having Mama watch him? How do we know she’s not pulling back and deciding to move in with that fucker as a fuck you to us, to me. Taking her away from the bad memories is the only fucking option I have right now so I don’t lose her.”
“I haven’t seen her around that jackass, Tyler,” Doc says softly, “Cole hasn’t brought him up, and being off club property just ensures she stays with the fucker, even if you are back. At least this way, she’s already here when you return and Dirty has promised to keep tabs on her phone until you return in a few days and sort the shit out.”
I look at Selena, and she gives me a soft smile, her piercing blue eyes encouraging me, and I state, “I need to be gone for longer than I thought.”
“Explain!” he demands after a few quiet minutes, and I look at the wooden bar.
I’ve spoken to both Steal and Selena at length about this, about my guilt after I had yet another slip up. They both agreed I needed to stay away from the club for a little while longer, to learn to live with what I’ve done, otherwise I’ll just put my gun to my mouth for the third time.
“I need more time, brother. I need, fuck,” I drop my head, running my hand through my hair, feeling like I’m running away, and I choke, “I still feel the need.”
“Tyler,” he whispers, and I shake my head as Selena places her hand on my back in support.
“Staying away for a few months is needed. I broke her, Asher. I fucking broke her, broke us when she needed me. I allowed my resentment to shape my thoughts, to give me an excuse to see what I thought I was missing out on, despite my claiming Ashley at a young age. My guilt it-it’s fucking consuming me that I’m struggling to live with it and knowing that I’ve had to miss my own sons birthday who didn’t even want to celebrate it because of me… Fuck brother, I need to stay gone for a while longer, to get my head straight so I can look at my wife and not fall apart and try what I tried again,” I sigh, “She had felt so fucking alone for a year and that guilt, it’s fucking killing me slowly. I need to ride brother.”
“Fuck,” he chokes, “She’s never going to forgive any of us, is she?”
“No,” I admit, “She’s tolerating the club because she knows what it feels like to have no family, no thanks to me, but she will never forgive any of us. I just have to hope and fucking pray that she still loves me enough to stay with me, even if it means giving up the cut.”
