He had no regard for me, no regard for his son.
“So that’s it, is it?” I hear Rocky snap, Tank's dad, and I tense, pausing in my steps. “You’re just going to leave him in his time of need when he needs you most?” he confirms with a scoff, and I turn and lock eyes with his angry gray ones.
Rocky has always been nice to me, but I’ve always been wary of him because when he gets bored, he likes to cheat, though to be honest, I absolutely hate his old lady.
“Do you know why he did it?” I ask, already knowing he doesn’t, that none of them do except for Dirty, who isn’t present, so I’m guessing he’s with my husband, my selfish jackass of a husband.
“Because you won’t admit to the affair you had, wanting to make him the bad guy all the goddamn fucking time, making him miserable,” he growls, and I nod and allow him to see my angry tears as they fall, my pain, and he flinches in shock.
“Funny, because I’m pretty sure that selfish dickhead who cheated on me for a year had found out the truth this morning in our therapy session. And instead of facing what he has done to our marriage, he chose to try the easy way out not giving afuckingdamn about me or his son,” I say firmly despite the tears and his eyes widen at my cursing.
“And what is the truth, Ashley?” Scar asks, and I look at him to see no judgement, only concern in his eyes.
“The truth is he started a year affair with my high school bully, fucking her in a room in this clubhouse while I sat in this very room with our son because I stopped sleeping with him. That I kept pushing him away, unable to let him touch me because I was scared I would make him dirty, that I’d transfer my filth onto him,” I admit and Doc shakes his head, instantly in denial seeing where I’m going.
“Dirty probably already has the video from that day,” I say and look at Scar, “You know the day your old lady decided she didn’t want her son and daughter-in-law going on a date because I was a patch chaser.”
Scar’s jaw ticks as Rocky demands, “A video of what, Ashley?!” clearly needing to hear the words as everyone in this room stays silent.
“A video of me being raped by a man in a denim cut while his friend sat on my back so I couldn’t fight back,” I admit with a choke.
“No,” I hear someone rasp but I don’t look around to who as I lift my arms and state, “So that is my secret, I was raped and today, after digging and digging, claiming I was some kind of fricking cheater when that is all him, I screamed the truth at Tyler. That I was raped, that I-I lost our baby.” My tears fall and I choke, “I was thirteen weeks pregnant and I lost it because of the trauma, and when I tried calling Ty, Virginia answered and said some really nasty shit.”
“Shit, Virginia,” Doc chokes, “She said something about having to do it, that she had to orchestrate it.”
A lot of cursing echoes, and I chuckle darkly.
“So my husband’s mistress orchestrated my rape, nice.” I scoff before turning around again to leave.
“Ash, please, he needs you,” Scar tries to plead and I look his way and remind him, “And I needed him and not once through my grief, my terror did he stop to confront me. He allowed himself to think the worst and chose to get himself a mistress and yet again, instead of choosing me, of choosing his son and living with what he’s done, he decided to be selfish and only think about himself.”
Scar allows his tears to fall while I wipe mine and state, “For once I’m choosing me, something I have never done.”
I turn and walk out of the door, the need to vomit pulling me, and I quickly turn my head, and bile comes up, my stomach tightening as I heave what little I have consumed today before I slowly stand and stumble over to my car as my tears fall.
I notice the prospect Albert looking at me with concern and makes his way over, but I ignore him as I climb into my car to leave this place for good.
Hopefully now Ty will sign those papers, especially with how selfish he’s been, and I can be free, even if it breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Chapter 13
Trigger
“Doc, how long until the sedative wears off?” I hear Mama ask with worry, her voice croaky, and I groan as a thumping, sharp pain flitters through my head, and he says, “Now,” before I feel someone touch my shoulder, and Doc says, “Trigger, brother, you with me?”
Bile rises, and I try to swallow it, the burning in my chest fucking suffocating me as everything hits me at once, and so much sadness flitters through me.
“Yeah,” I choke as visions of me placing my gun into my mouth hit me, and I squeeze my eyes tight, my heart shattering, my pain.
Fuck, I tried to commit suicide.
My wife was…
Fuck.
“Brother, I need you to open your eyes,” Doc rasps, and I squeeze them before opening, only to shut them quickly at the bright light, and Doc demands, “Tank turn the lights down,” and I try opening them again as the room looks dimmer and I recognize where I am instantly – the medical room at the clubhouse.
I lock eyes with Doc first, his red-rimmed, before I lock eyes with my dad, his eyes also red, and I have to look away and swallow hard as I look up at the ceiling.
