She was raped, she was…
She croaks, “That is why we are over. I was raped and I lost our child, and instead of confronting me, instead of seeing the pain, the horror, the disgust I felt, the filth I was scared I was transferring to you, you went and got a mistress.”
We don’t break eye contact as she shows me her truth, a truth that is slowly killing me and Dr. Chimes, seeing I’ve shut down, whispers, “Trigger?”
My body trembles, and I, fuck, I turn around and leave the room, unable to deal with this, unable to comprehend what she’s just told me as the guilt seeps in.
I storm out of the office, climb onto my bike, and ride away, my mind unfocused.
“I was raped!”
I squeeze my eyes tight as her scream echoes before I hear a horn beeping, and I open them, swerving past a car, narrowly missing it, before I quickly pull over as bile rises and I lean over, puking everything I’ve eaten today.
“I was raped!”
I heave, bile coming out, her words swimming, her pain, her trauma.
Please, please…
Coughing the last of the bile, I spit before taking off from the curb and down the street towards the club, breaking the speeding limit.
As I get near the club, I rev my bike to get the prospect's attention at the gate, not stopping for anyone. New boy, Ollie, opens it in time, his eyes wide as I drive in like a madman. I notice Doc and Stone talking near the door, their eyes coming my way, but I ignore them and speed down the dirt track heading to my home, to Ashley’s home.
“I was raped!”
Bile rises again as her screams continue to echo on a loop and I skid to a stop outside my front door before rushing off my bike, only just putting the stand down as I stumble off, then up the steps and into the house. I’m tripping over nothing, just managing to grab the back of the couch as my eyes take everything in, all the memories of Ashley and I littered on the light gray walls, her smile so fucking wide…
“I was raped!”
A sob rips out of my throat as I stumble around the couch and fall to my knees next to the little black side table, a wedding photo of Ash and I smiling at each other sitting on top and my hand automatically goes to my piece behind my back, and I grab it.
“I was raped!”
My body trembles, my guilt, my horror consuming me, and without thinking, I place the barrel in my mouth and remove the safety lock.
“I was raped!”
I place my finger on the trigger, ready to press it when a roar hits my ears and something shoves into me hard and everything goes black as a gunshot sound echoes…
Chapter 12
Ashley
My heart pounds as I pace my small living area and run my fingers through my hair, unable to calm my nerves, the morning’s events swimming.
His face, oh god his face…
I didn’t mean to scream it at him the way I did, but I just… Dammit!
I grip my hair and scream as I fall to my knees and sob, my body trembling as my cries and screams echo through the empty apartment, so much pain consuming me I can’t breathe.
I never wanted him to know, never.
My phone ringing breaks into my crying, but I ignore it as I begin to dry heave, my stomach tightening, the memories of that day flashing…
I feel fingers grip my panties, and I begin to kick and scream, “Get off me! Nat…”
A filthy hand quickly covers my mouth, and a snarly voice growls, “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” as my panties are torn down my legs.
