For months, I have been trying to get him to sign divorce papers, but he refuses, not until we went through couple’s therapy was his excuse, even got the judge to agree to it.
He thinks this will be good for us, to get everything out on the table so we can co-parent. I think he’s an absolute idiot and doesn’t deserve my truths when I gave him everything.
Hate is all I feel towards him. I physically feel sick when I’m around him, knowing he never wanted me or our son, knowing he chose another woman for a whole year over us.
I gave him everything and he threw it back in my face.
“My parents were absent, disowning me for choosing a man they swore would hurt me. I was wearing jeans and a flannel. What more do you want to know?” I state with attitude and heartache.
I don’t want to do this, I just want to move on with my life.
Trigger flinches and Dr Chimes asks, “Tell me more, Ashley, from your point of view.”
I swallow hard, the day coming back, safety I thought I felt, the love I thought I’d receive every day just a big fat lie.
I take a deep breath as I look down at my outfit, and my eyes blur, wishing things were a little different, but knowing I’ll be with Ty is the only thing that is keeping me from falling apart.
I’m in the bathroom at the courthouse with no family, no friends, wearing jeans and a flannel, not your typical wedding.
I never thought I’d be the kind of girl that would want a guy to propose to her on one knee. Instead of the ‘you’re knocked up we need to get married,’ crap, or that I’d want the white dress with my daddy walking me down the aisle with all our friends and family watching on with tears in their eyes. Standing here, I now know I am that kind of girl.
I guess life has other ideas for me.
I sigh as I gently rub my hand over my flat stomach.
“At least we’ll have daddy,” I whisper, my heart pounding.
Finding out I was pregnant at seventeen, was a shock, and I did give Ty an out, as much as he owns me, I offered for him to walk away. He’s a brother for the Rebels MC and plans ontaking over his father’s role as Sargent. Honestly, I love him that much. I was willing to walk away because I didn’t want to disrupt his life, his future, but he refused and instead stated we’ll be getting married without even giving me a chance to process. Before I could even explain that my parents have disowned me.
They were anti-Ty and me and were hoping I’d grow out of the so-called puppy love. Instead I fell deeper for him and now, well, now we’re accidentally pregnant and are about to get married while they bad mouth me to the community.
Taking a deep breath, I look at myself one more time, knowing there is nothing else I can do before I leave here and head to the chambers where Ty is waiting for me with my heart in my throat. I round the corner to see Tyler pacing, his parents talking to him. He looks stressed which just confuses me because he is the one who is forcing this, not me.
If he isn’t ready for me, for a family, he can walk away, I won’t hold any grudges. Don’t get me wrong it will hurt, a lot, but still.
I slowly walk over to him gaining everyone’s attention. His mama curls her lip at me while his dad smiles softly and I swallow the lump forming in my throat, fear running through me.
I really hope we’re not making a mistake, no, actually I really hope he doesn’t regret it.
“You felt unappreciated, not special?” Dr. Chimes confirms, bringing me out of the memory, my heart breaking, but I shrug nonchalantly, trying to act indifferent.
I won’t give him the pleasure of knowing how much he truly hurt me, how much I cry at night from the pain of what he did, the betrayal.
Instead I admit, “It didn’t matter to me because I thought I would always have him, but I guess it was all a lie.”
“It wasn’t all a lie, pixie,” Trigger states, and my jaw ticks.
“Really?” I ask as I glare his way. He nods sincerely, and I hum and ask, “Then why couldn’t you keep it in your pants? Whyfucka girl for a whole year right underneath my nose and I don’t just mean me sitting at home with our son. I mean me being in the common room at the clubhouse and you being either in her room or the pantry screwing her,” I lean forward as his face pales realizing I know more than I let on. I snarl, “Or how about when our son had a severe ear infection and I called you several times but you ignored me, that your president who is a doctor ignored me because you were getting your dick sucked?!”
His eyes widen in shock, and I chuckle darkly, “Did you really think your mistress wouldn’t message me play by play of your dirty little hookups after Stone had her kicked out of the club?” I raise a brow, “Our anniversary, your son's birthday, my birthday, date nights…” I scoff, “You don’t love me, I’m your possession, nothing more, and I am done with this shit, done with rehashing our past, which is all a lie that you orchestrated.”
I look at Dr. Chimes, who looks at me with sadness, and I state, “All of this is pointless. We’ve been legally separated for nearly seven months. If he doesn’t sign the divorce papers, then I’ll take him to court.”
Trigger scoffs, “You’re acting all hard done by,” and I shake my head as he states, “You’re forgetting about why this happened, Ashley!”
“Ah, yes, you sought out affection from some whore all because I apparently had an affair because I’d been working late and I stopped sleeping with you –” he cuts me off and snaps, “Not just that, when we did sleep together, you would get up and shower instantly, you’d act disgusted!”
I look at him, my body hurting, my past consuming, and I say softly, “That doesn’t mean I cheated on you, Trigger,” He flinches at my use of his road name, “You took it how you wantedto instead of speaking to me and went and lived the best life of a brother you never got to have becauseyouclaimed me when we were ten years old,” I look at him sadly and remind him, “I gave you an out twice and both times you were adamant all because I am your possession, not your love, your heart, or even your one. You don’t love me, if you did you would have demanded why I was acting different instead of making stories up in your head so you could screw around. I really hope her pussy was worth it because you have lost your family.”
