Prologue
Trigger – Current Day
I slowly rub my thumb along my bottom lip as I look at my stoic wife sitting on the other end of the couch, furthest away from me as she can get. She looks at Dr. Chimes, waiting for her to begin our session while trying her hardest to ignore my existence.
Her blonde hair is down, framing her face, she’s in her usual jeans and flannel and her green eyes that I love so fucking much not looking my way once.
She’s fucking beautiful. It hurts because I know I can’t appreciate it, that I lost that right just like she lost hers with me.
How in the fuck did we end up here when this time nearly two years ago she was straddling my lap tattooing my skin?
Six fucking months we’ve been coming to this office. For six months, she has barely opened up, claiming to only be doing this for our son, that there is no coming back from the year-longaffair I had. Yet, she refuses to speak about her affair, or the fact that she refused to leave her job at the convenience store, coming home later than normal most nights.
She keeps acting innocent in all this, and it is beginning to piss me off.
“Okay,” Dr. Chimes says as she sets her timer, grabs her notebook and pen as she focuses on me and Ash. She looks between us and asks, “Over the past six months, we’ve spoken about how you met, your childhood’s, even Cole, but now, I want to dive deeper.”
I swallow hard and look down, not ready for this, but I know it has to happen. We can’t move forward until we get everything out in the open, and for six fucking months, Ash has dodged every question where we are concerned, and now, there is no more dodging.
Fuck she even dodges questions about her job and why she’s always home late!
“Trigger, tell me about your wedding day,” Dr. Chimes asks, looking my way, and I see Ashley flinch.
I don’t want to talk about it, to bring up the happiest day of her life because it wasn’t mine.
“It was the most conflicted day of my life,” I admit quietly.
“Why?” Dr. Chimes asks, and I swallow hard, knowing Ashley is going to hate me even more.
I confess, “I was marrying the woman I loved more than anything, but I wasn’t ready and was ready to bolt.”
“Son, try and take a breath,” my mama whispers, and I shake my head as I pace in front of the judge's chambers, wearing jeans and fucking t-shirt of all things with my cut over it.
It shouldn’t be like this. We should be in our twenties after living a little, not getting fucking married at seventeen!
“Maybe we should call this off, sweetheart,” Mama says when I don’t listen to her, and I scoff, “She’s pregnant with my baby, Mama, I have to do this!”
Mama looks away, her cheeks red with anger.
Telling her my girlfriend was pregnant didn't go down well. My face still fucking stings from the slap she gave me when I told her the news.
Shaking my head, I continue to pace.
This doesn’t feel right.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Ashley, I have since I was nearly eleven years old and claimed she was mine. But fuck, we’re still in high school, we’re too young for this and she has dreams. She wants to go to college and figure out who she is and now she can’t. She has to be a mother instead because I can’t stay at home. I can’t put my life on hold because the club needs me. The club I have grown up with, the club I’m going to become the Sargent at arms in and the same club I’m going to bring tons of money into with my career as a tattoo artist.
“There is still time for her to abort the baby, so you two can grow more as people before you take this big step in life,” Dad mentions unhelpfully, and I scoff.
“Are you serious right now, Dad?” I growl, and he shrugs.
“You said you wanted her to get rid of it, son,” he reminds me, and my nostrils flare as I stop and glare at him.
Fucker knows if she heard that she’d turn around and leave.
“She doesn’t want to get rid of the baby. We’ve already had this conversation, and not only could I not live with myself if she were to bring our child up without me, but it would kill me to watch her with someone else. She is mine,” I snap.
“You’re not ready for this, son,” Dad mutters, and I shake my head and begin to pace again, my heart thumping in my chest, before I freeze, hearing footsteps, and I look as Ashley hesitantly walks towards us.
