I sigh, wondering whether I should tell him the truth. “I’m worried I’ll never be able to let you go.”
He holds my gaze for a beat, a smile turning up the corners of his lips. “Maybe you’ll never have to.”
My heart inches higher in my chest. It’s stupid, because I know Jack and I are impossible together, but I can’t help but feel hopeful. It’s like buying a lottery ticket—you know you’re never going to win, but sometimes it’s fun to let yourself indulge your fantasy about winning.
Akira comes over to check on us just as my phone buzzes. I reach for it to turn it to silent, but my reminder about applying to the course at community college flashes on my phone. My stomach falls through the bottom of my chair and hits the floor.
I push my chair out from the table. Jack has me so distracted, I’m forgetting about real life. I’ve been thinking about this course since I enrolled to get my high school diploma. This was always going to be my next step. I’ve only recently graduated high school, and the idea that I might get a college degree is exciting. I can’t throw that away to get pizza. However good it is.
“Everything okay?” Jack asks.
I’m still scanning the email. The course is weirdly oversubscribed because one of the professors is a minor celebrity so the application process included an essay about why I wanted to enroll on the course. I’ve not even thought about it.
“Not really,” I say. “I have to finish an application for a course I want to get into.” What am I thinking, getting caught up in fantasies about a life with Jack? I need to keep my feet on Star Falls soil. Panic rockets through me, and I jump up.
“What’s the matter?” Jack asks.
“The deadline is tomorrow morning, six a.m. I need to go.”
“I’ll take you,” Jack says. He stands and pulls out his wallet.
“I can pay,” I say.
He fixes me with a look. “Please, Iris. I’m not trying to buy you, but let me get this without you feeling like you owe me or something.” He puts some cash—way too much cash, from what I can see with a casual glance—on the table and guides me out and into the SUV he brought us here in.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Jack asks as we pull out onto the road. “Maybe it’s stupid, but I’m happy to proofread stuff or act as a sounding board.”
I shake my head. “I just need to get to my computer. I’ve been…” I shake my head. I can’t blame Jack. The application was my responsibility. I’m not used to my head being taken up with anything other than work and my high school diploma.
We get back to the farm and I reach for the door handle of the SUV, and then turn back to Jack. “I’m sorry I ruined our evening.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be. I want you to finish your application. We’ll catch up when you’re done and you can tell me about the course.”
“I’m going to be up all night.” I slide out of the seat and turn to face him.
He winces. “Plenty of coffee. You want me to make you some?”
I smile. “Thanks, but I’m good.” If Jack came inside, my dad and my brother would have something to say, and I wouldn’t get anything done.
“Good luck,” he says. “I believe in you.”
My heart squeezes at his words. The idea that Jack believes in me brings me great comfort, I’m just not quite sure why. He’s an almost stranger. A stranger from New York who I’m way too comfortable with. Way too attached. Way too attracted.
He blows me a kiss, and instead of shutting the door like I should, I clamber across the seat and kiss him squarely on the mouth.
“Thank you,” I say as I pull back. My face goes up in flames, and I bite back a smile before turning and racing back to the house and my application.
EIGHTEEN
Jack
If Iris has been up most of the night, she’s going to be exhausted. Which is why I pull up at seven at Wilde’s Farm.
I’m not looking to pick fruit particularly today, but if that’s what they need, I’m happy to do it. I want to be an extra pair of hands in case Iris doesn’t make it to her desk on time.
I wave as I get out of the car and spot Bray.
“Morning,” he says, his tone gruff. “Wasn’t expecting to see you today. Thought the day before yesterday scared you off.”
