“Four thirty.”
She groans and rolls to her back and then she sits up. “I need to leave.”
“Leave?” I say. “Where are you going?”
“Home, Jack. I need to shower and get to work.”
“At four thirty in the morning?”
“No, but I need to be at my desk before seven. The pickers start at seven. That’s when things start to heat up. My brother’s broken his leg, so now I have to do some deliveries too.” She raises her eyebrows, like she’s daring me to say something. I’m not quite sure what.
“Okay, so I’ll take you back.”
She narrows her eyes. “I drove.”
I can’t remember much before the bits where we were naked. If she said she drove, then she drove. “Can I see you tonight?”
A smile tugs on the corner of her lips and I lean forward and press a kiss to her mouth.
“I have plans tonight.”
“To be in bed with me?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Spending time with you is far too dangerous. Before you know it, you’ll be back in New York and you’ll leave me here in Star Falls with nothing but memories and a broken heart. Last night was… we both needed it. And now we don’t have to wonder what it might be like between us. Hopefully it gives us the closure we both need.”
My insides swoop and my muscles tense. I sit up, mirroring her position. What is she talking about?
Closure?
That was the start of something, not the end of anything.
“That’s what last night was about for you? Closure?”
She pulls in a breath, like she’s trying to find the answer. “I can’t deny there’s something between us, Jack?—”
“Good,” I say. “Because if you did, you’d be lying to yourself.”
Her eyes lower to her fingers, linked together in front of her. “We needed to follow it through. Get it out of our system or something.”
“How’s that working for you?” I ask. “Am I out of your system?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know.” She pauses. “But honestly, I don’t want to get hurt. Life… life in Star Falls is easy. Kinda. There are no big ups and downs. Yeah, the margins at the farm are constantly under pressure and I’m not a member of the Colorado Club, but life is… okay. I’m not sure…” Her gaze flickers to me and then back to her hands. “I’m not sure I would be able to take it if…”
My heart aches at Iris even imagining life becoming difficult for her. I slide my hand around her waist. She flinches and then sinks into my touch.
“I can’t get attached—anymoreattached, Jack.”
I lean us back so I’m resting against the headboard and she’s leaning against my chest.
“When I walked away from dance, I locked it away in a box. I couldn’t even think about it for a long time. It was the only way I could survive. And I did survive. And every year, I let it out, but it goes back in the box as soon as I take off back to Star Falls.
“With you… I don’t think I could ever… I’d have to live with the loss. I don’t think I’m strong enough.”
How can I argue against her logic?
“But—”
“Don’t say what if it works out. Because you know it’s impossible. Iknowyou know that.”
