“Fine. I won’t do anything dangerous,” I said, following her to the front door.
“Good. I love you.” She slipped into her backpack and pulled me into a hug.“It was a tiny scrap at a dive bar and everyone will probably forget about it sooner than later. There’s nothing to be upset about.”
“I know.” I leaned into the hug, causing us to sway. “That’s why it’s so stupid. I love living here and getting to be with you and Uncle Tom all the time, but I’m just not happy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re happy,” she pulled away to smile at me,“just not right now and not all the time. But you’re happy in general.”
“No. When I’m manic I’m happy and when I’m depressed I’m suicidal.”
“You’ve been in a good middle spot lately and you haven’t been suicidal in a really long time. You’re not that extreme today, right?” She watched as I shook my head, staring a few extra seconds to make sure I was being honest. I was.“See? That’s a good sign. Ihave to goto class. Call me if you need anything. I can leave lecture if I have to.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said. Even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t make her leave class early. “Have fun.” I waved as she blew a kiss and shut the door.
The lock clicked and her footsteps faded down the driveway. I gazed at the door. I had nothing to do. I never had anything to do. My life was basically pointless. I sighed and trudged upstairs, back to my room to flop on the bed beside Frankie.
“I’m a loser,” I told him, my voice muffled against thecomforter.“I’m not doing anything with my life. I’ll never be happy. And Dennis did that stupid blood binding thing, so now I’m stuck with him forever. He’ll probably get tired of my mood swings and kill me.”
“I won’t kill you.”
I shrieked and slammed into the headboard, knocking Frankie to the floor.“What the fuck, Dennis? What’re you doing here?”
“Coming to see what’s wrong with my other half. You’ve been crying all day.” He was perched on the window seat, lighter in hand.“What’s wrong?”
“I haven’t been crying. And you should know, you’re always reading my mind.” I reached down to get Frankie.“I’m sorry, hun. I didn’t mean to drop you,” I cooed, stroking his head.
“You’re so weird,”Dennissaid, making a face at my beloved cat.“So what’s wrong?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“I’d never call you easy, by the way.”
“Really?” I found that hard to believe.
“Really. Too misogynistic. It’s not my thing.” He was playing with the lighter’s flame and I was giving him a dull look.
“So you’re an asshole but not a sexist asshole,” I said it sarcastically before realizing he might be serious. Thinking back, it did line up so far. Maybe he wasn’t lying this time.“Thanks.” I hugged Frankie and lay back down.“You probably do think I’m a ditz, though. Or that I should’ve gone to college to make some real plans for myself. I have zero life goals.”
“Yeah, you do. I’ve heard you think about them before.”
“I wanna become a high end dancerin Vegas.”
“Which is fine, if that’s what you wanna do.” He smiled as I grunted. “You’re worth more than you think, Vixen. Don’t be so mean to yourself. But you should get a new therapist soon because you’re kind of a mess.”
“I know.” I frowned. He was right about that last part.
“Will a distraction help? Let’s go somewhere.” He killed the fire and came to sit beside me.“Get up.”
“I can’t,” I glanced over before looking at the ceiling,“I look awful.” I squealed when he gave me a hard shove, laughing as I toppled off the bed. I shot up to see him holding Frankie with a smile.
“I saved your cat. It almost fell.”
“You’re the worst‘other half’I’ve ever met.We’renot going anywhere,you’regoing home. Go away. I wanna sit here in my messiness by myself.”
“Stop crying and put some real clothes on. Either that, or you’re going like this.”
“You’re really getting on my nerves. I don’t wanna go anywhere.”
“Do you really wanna go like that?” He gestured to my pajamas and unkempt hair.
