“I thought I did something wrong and you didn’t like me anymore,” I said. It sounded so dumb out loud.His eyes drifted while he toyed with his lip ring.“What’re you thinking about?”
“Your disorder. Ari said you get paranoid about relationships when you’re sad or anything happens—”
“She told you that?”I interrupted.“When did you guys talk about this?”
“When you were sleeping the day after you killed that girl. Don’t worry, I was nice the whole time.”He smiled at the look I gave him. I had a hard time believing he would be nice to her for an entire conversation.
“What else did you talk about?”
“What to expect when you’re depressed or manic, how often it happens, signs to watch for, what your triggers are, and how long it usually lasts. And what I can do to keep you safe until you’re back to normal.”
I groaned and dragged a pillow across my face.“I hate this so much. It’s like I’m a specimen you guys have to study. Or a baby you have to take care of, or some type of animal you have to be all careful around lest it snap and attack you.”I moved the pillow to glare when he started laughing.
“Are you done?”
“Yeah. I ran out of comparisons.”
“Yeah, I can tell,” he teased. “You’re not any of the above, if it makes you feel better.”
“I just hate it so much. I wish you didn’t have to deal with any of this.” I frowned as he started playing with my hair.
“It really doesn’t bother me.”
I closed my eyes, trying to work up the courage to ask what I really wanted to know. Several seconds passed before I opened them to see him watching me.“Do you ever regret choosing me as your bind?”
“No.”
I waited for him to add a caveat, but none came. I waited about a minute before sitting up. A lightheadedness hit, followed by an intense craving. So intense it was almost painful. I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes. The voices weren’t real. Dr. Kelsey—probably Dr. Tsai, too—would say to ignore them.
“Are you okay?” Dennis touched my arm and I jumped.
“I’m fine.”I faked a smile and tried to act normal. And then a tear fell. And another. I bit my lip and looked away. “I’m okay.I’mjust hearing things and now I’m craving something and it feels like I’m gonna die.”
“It’s blood. You didn’t drink yesterday.”
“I don’t wanna go outside.” I said, twirling a lock of hair.“I don’t wanna be around people.”
“Do you want some of mine?”
“You’d let me?”I was surprised he’d be willing to let me drink fromhim again. But he held out a wrist and prompted until I carefully bit in. I kept drinking until he touched my shoulder. I took that as a cue and let up.“Thanks, Dennis. I really appreciate it. I think I wanna go to sleep now.”
“No problem.” He stood.“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”I smiledas he left. It was a real one this time.
* * *
I woke with a start and shot up.
“Another nightmare?” Ariasked. She was already in the room.
I nodded and held Drakie close.“What time is it?”
“Four in the afternoon.”
“That’s it? I feel like I’ve been sleeping longer than that.”I tapped my phone to read the time, but something else caught my eye.“It’sSunday?”My eyes widened at the date.“How long have I been asleep?”
“This time about an hour.”She glanced out the window, where the sun was shining brightly. A book was in her hands and she was on my window seat.“You’ve been sleeping off and on since yesterday. Sean said you don’t work ‘til Tuesday, so I decided not to bug you.”
