“No, thanks. I don’t wanna discuss my feelings. I will if I have to, but I’m not gonna voluntarily sign up for it. I’ve done my court ordered therapy and I’m done.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”She thankfully dropped the subject.“I’ll put in a prescription for 350 milligrams of your current medication and you can pick that up in the building next door. I’d like to see you a month from now to see how everything’s going with the new dosage.”She reached for a business cardand pressed it into my hand.“If your hallucinations worsen or you feel something is urgent, call me right away and I’ll squeeze you in sooner. Sound good?” She stood as I nodded. “It was so nice meeting you, Emery. And Dennis.”
“Nice to meet you too,” I said.
She re-shook both our hands once we stood.“Must be cold out,” she commented. “You’re both freezing.” Dennis chuckled as she led us to the door.“And Emery, you can go back up front to make your next appointment with me.”
I agreed before saying our goodbyes and leading Dennis from the room.
“That was short,” he said.
“Psych appointments always are. Small talk, maybe a meds adjustment, they try to trick me into therapy or antipsychotics again, and then we’re done until next time. On a good day it takes fifteen minutes. On a bad one, maybe a half hour.”
We entered the waiting room and its stupid long line. Eventually, the same woman called me to her window. We made a follow-up appointment for next month. I even managed to smile before saying goodbye, but the moment I turned aroundmy smile dropped—there were too many people. I wanted to go. I didn’t wanna see them. I wanted to be in a corner away from them all.
Dennisappeared and took my arm, steering me from the room. I stumbled along and did my best not to look up. We entered the pharmacy and I got in its equally long line, figuring by the time I reached the front my pills might be ready. Luckily, they were. I paid the fee and talked to the pharmacist for a minute before taking the small bag and leaving. Once again, Dennis stood the moment I came back.
“I can’t believe you made me do that.” I crumpled the paperbagas we headed to the parking lot.
“At least it’s over with, right? You have your meds adjustment, you’re set up with a new doctor, and your next appointment’s already scheduled. Progress?”
“Whatever,” I mumbled as we reached the car. I got in and leaned against the window, propping a hand between the glass and my face.
Next thing I knew, someone was gently placing me down. I opened my eyes to see Dennis. “What happened?” I asked groggily.
“You dozed off, so I carried you in,” he said. “You can keep sleeping.”
He sat at the end of the couch and draped my legs across his lap, then grabbed a novel from the end table. I stirred slightly before deciding it was comfy enough and drifting back to sleep.
* * *
The sound of turning pages came, followed by a slow heartbeat. I opened my eyes to see Dennis still reading near my feet, one hand holding his book while the other rested atop my shins. Ari was across the room leafing through one of his books. I sat up, catching them off guard.
“You’re awake.” Ari set the book aside.
“Yeah. How was your exam?”
“Amazing.Ithink I aced it.”She hesitated before asking,“How’d your appointment go?”I didn’t answer. Dennis glanced up from his book, but he didn’t say anything.“Are you mad at me?”
“No.I’m gonna go get Frankie. If I can find him.”I couldn’t remember where he was.
“It’s in my room,” Dennis said.
“Frankie’s not an ‘it’,” I said. He gave me a dull look, which I disregarded and left to get my cat.
“I’ll come with,”Ari said, hopping up to follow.“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?”
“I’m sure. I was at first, but I know you’re trying to help. And you were right. I wouldn’thave let you drag me in this time.”
“So we’re really okay? Even after yesterday and all the things I said, and leaving you?” She barely smiled when I nodded, then pulled me into a hug. When she let go her entire mood was lifted.“You don’t have any plans for tonight, right?‘Cause some friends from school and I are going out to celebrate the end of midterms.Wanna come?I’m leaving in a few minutes, but I was waiting for you to wake up just in case.”
“No,thanks.”It wasn’t anything against hanging out with her. I really did miss spending every waking moment with her. It was just…“Your friends don’t like me.” I picked Frankie up as she frowned.
“Yeah, they do. I mean, it’s not like it matters. Don’t worry about them. I don’t give a fuck what they think. I like you way more than them any day,”she was rambling, probably because we both knew the first part was a lie.“I promise they don’t dislike you. They’re just a little scared of you. Most of them think you’re aggressive.”
“Why the fuck would they think I’m aggressive?”
“Because of that. You’re aggressive as shit.” She laughed when I gave a ‘meh’ of acceptance. “Are you sure you don’t wanna come? I hate leaving you alone when you’ve been thisupset.”
