He seemed perfectly content to keep doing it. His eyes were back to their lively, mesmerizing hazel. It seemed like he was determined to make me uncomfortable. Or maybe he didn’tevennotice.
“Oh, I notice.”He laughed as I yanked my legs from his lap.“What? You’re sitting in my coffin. You’re in my line of sight. What else am I supposed to look at?”He pulled me back when I halfheartedly tried to move away.“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”I fidgeted and leaned against the open coffin’slid.
“Do you have type one or two?”
“Like diabetes?”I was so confused. I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“No.” He chuckled. “Bipolar disorder.”
“Oh,”I said dumbly. That made moresense.“Ihavetype one. With psychotic features, if you haven’t noticed.”
I was curious how he knew to ask. Most people didn’t know about the different types. It was usually an assumption that we were all the same with the same triggers and simplified symptoms. Always fluctuating between happy and angry with no normalcy in between.
And then a thought hit that wasn’t my own:do the hallucinations and suicidal ideation happen all the time?
“It happens a lot, but not too often,”I answered quietly.“I promise I’m not as crazy as you think.”
“What happens a lot?”he asked. “And I don’t think you’re crazy.”
“Yeah, you do. I heard that.”I motioned to my head.“You were wondering if I get this extreme every time, with the voices and seeing things and wanting to die. I could hear it, and it happens every once in a while.”I bit my lip at his less than happy expression.“I guess emotions and feelings that strong come through?”
“Yeah.”He obviously hadn’t wanted me to hear. Hadn’t expected me to hear at all.“I don’t think you’re crazy, though.I was joking when I said it earlier. It made you laugh, didn’t it?” He smiled when I nodded. “Even if you were, I wouldn’t care. You’re still you. I already told you that.”
I looked down to hide a smile, playing with Frankie’s ears while I mulled over his words. I believed him so much more than I ever thought I would. But then my mind changed direction and the happiness left.
“Did you know this would happen?” I asked.“Me killing someone if I went to get blood alone?”
“I had a feeling it might happen. Since you can be a little…”
“Mentally unstable,”I finished, saving us both the trouble of phrasing it nicely. I avoided his gaze and kept playing with Frankie’s ears.
“You’re anewvamp.It happens. Things might set you off when they normally wouldn’t, like a small taste of blood starting a bloodlust you can’t control. It’s easy to lose control at first. Plus, you being bipolar makes it that much harder. So I didn’t wanna take any chances.”
“I should’ve listened. I thought you were just being mean.”
“It’s okay. I probably should’ve explained why,” he said. “I should’ve known you’d flirt your way into running off without me. I have to say though, I didn’t expect it to happen the way it did.”
“Who would have?” I laughed humorlessly. “We’re in the middle of nowhere and she had to comehere, of all places. I never would have expected…” I trailed off as he started tracing patterns across my leg.“Is that also why you had us stay here after my change?”I tilted my head, wondering if I’d stumbled upon a real explanation for his insistence on us staying after my change.
“Mostly.”
“But partly so you could get me in bed.”I narrowed my eyes at his expression. That must be it.
“What kind of person do you think I am?”he asked in mock offense, clutching imaginary pearls. It was cute, but I had other things to worry about.
“You’re still not gonna stop talking to me because you got what you wanted, right?”
“No.”He looked me over when I went silent.“You stilldon’t believe me.”
“I do,”I said hurriedly. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I still didn’t trust him. Especially after today.“I really thought I ruined everything and you were gonna be done with me forever, like unbinding and everything.”
“I’m not unbinding you for that.”
“For that?”I couldn’t keep the panic from my voice.
“Relax, Vixen. That’s not what I meant.”Hesmiled at my relief.“I’m not unbinding you at all.”
