I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes, trying to drown it all out.“Thank you.” I stopped walking to hug him tight. I held on for a minute before letting go. “So much. I really mean it.”
“You’re welcome.”
“No, really. Thank you.” I hugged him again with no plans of letting go this time.“You don’t even know how much this means.”
“You’re still welcome.” He chuckled as I nuzzled into him.“You should thank Sean and Ari, too. They sent me to find you after you left the bar.”
“They did?” I hadn’t even thought about that, but it made sense. Someone must’ve told him where to find me earlier, otherwise he might’ve stayed MIA forever.
“I wasn’t missing forever.” His voice was playful despite the sarcasm.“But yeah, they got worried. He blew up my phone until I answered.”
“I kinda don’t know what I’d do without you guys now. Especially you.” I finally let go, looking down as we resumed walking.
Thoughts of what happened were replaying. I was starting to feel even guiltier than before. I had probably ruined their entire condo, plus any chance of staying bound with Dennis in the long run. Not that I’d wanted to before, but now I wasn’t so sure.
“I’m so sorry you had to see that… that whole breakdown. I haven’t had one that bad in a while. Those are the tantrums that girl was talking about. The ones that used to happen in school before I was diagnosed.” I slowed down, wishing I had never started. This was too much information. But for some reason I couldn’t stop. “My aunt had to get me so many times. Each time was different. Most of them were worse than today.”
One glance told me what Dennis was thinking: how could it possibly get worse than today?
“I’m not thinking that at all. Seriously. Don’t worry about it.”
“No, really. I’m so sorry. I don’t remember what I did but I know it must’ve been really bad. I get out of control. I probably tore your whole place apart.”
“You didn’t tear it apart. But either way, it’s really okay.”
“I’m sorry,” my voice was starting to tremble again,“you weren’t ever supposed to see me like that…”
I stopped walking because it wasn’t okay, and I’d really rather him keep going without me. I hated the fact that he’d seen me this way. That I hadn’t been able to hide the crazy for longer. Two weeks in, and it was already out in the open.
“That doesn’t mean I won’t want you anymore,” he said.“As my bind, I mean. This is part of you, right? The episodes?” He paused as I nodded. “I boundyou, not parts of you. You and the crazy are a package deal.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. He started walking again and smoothly reached back to take my hand. I smiled and laced my fingers through his—I’d never been so glad to have someone with me as I was right now.
Anxiety started up as we approached their building, but I pushed the apprehension aside. There was no way it could be any worse than before. Especially now that Ari was gone. Still, I was nervous as fuck. I squeezed his hand and reached up with my other, but he caught it before I could grab my hair.
“Nope. Not doing that.”He trapped both my hands in one of his.
“Fine,”I muttered. He climbed the stairs, holding my hands captive while I stumbled behind.“I feel like I’m being arrested again.”
“You’ve been arrested way too many times.”
Before I could answer, their front door was thrown open and someone came running out. I fell backward as they jumped on me. Dennis caught us both.
“Emy! Thank fucking god Emy, where were you?”
“You’re back…”I stared as Ari let go.
“Of course I’m back, idiot! I’m always gonna be here! I’m so,sosorry for what I said.”She’d obviously been crying, and she started all over again as Dennis moved us inside.“I’m so sorry. I feel so bad.”She latched on, wailing into my hair while squishing my face.“I was wrong and out of line, and I didn’t mean any of it.”
“You really didn’t mean it?”I normally would’ve pried her off and made her cry elsewhere, namely somewhere that didn’t press me against Dennis while squishing me to death, but I didn’t try to move her. I was too shocked she was even back.
“Do you know how hard I tried to go looking for you? Sean wouldn’t let me! He kept saying you were too upset and might lose control again but I tried for like two fuckin’hours.”She shot him an accusatory look.
I slowly followed her gaze. He was standing near Dennis, who’dmanaged to shut the door and ease his way around us.
“She bit me and punched me in theface.”He rubbeda cheek as Dennis laughed. “You guys are definitely related.”
I turned back to Ari as she wiped her eyes.
