“I’m not stupid. I didn’t go to class because it bored me. And I’m not a home-wrecker because I didn’t take him from you. He came tome, and I told him no because you were still with him. I hate you, but I respected your relationship, which is one thing I’ll always have over you.”
I could easily leave. I could easily rip her fucking throat out and call it a day, but I’d promised Ari. And I refused to let her run me off again. Not in my new home. Not in the town I’d moved to just to escape half the fucking shit she caused.
“Either way, it doesn’t matter. He only tried because you’re easy.”
“At least I wasn’t the school bitch.”I took a step toward her and she backed up.“You think nobody liked me? At least they told me to my fucking face and I had the guts to say something back—”
“At least I’m not fucking mentally ill! You’re mentally disabled and you don’t have anything going for you. You’restupid as fuck, you don’t have any friends, you still dress like a ho, and you don’t even have parents. Is that why you’re so messed up? Too many daddy issues?”
“No!”
“Your dad didn’t give ashitabout you,”she backed up again but didn’t stop,“he doesn’t love you. He never did.”
I balled up my fists and took my own step back, trying not to tear her the fuck apart.“He might’ve loved me. You don’t know.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t know either, do you? He made you watch a murder and fucked with your head. Your own dad disowned you. A dad doesn’t do that shit. You never had a fucking dad—”
I shoved past her and started walking, faster this time. I couldn’t handle this without trying to kill her. I promised Ari. I had to leave.
“Keep running, slut!”she shouted after me. I heard quickened footsteps as she followed mine.“You always run from me when you’re supposed to be so fucking tough. What happened to that, huh? Why’re you so tough with everyone but me?”
“Because I don’t need a dad and I don’t need to hear your fucking shit!”I whirled around and walked back. She was still going, heartless as ever.“That’s why I don’t deal with you, because all you do is talkshitno matter what the fuck I do, or what the fuck I say, you never leave it alone. You never fucking leave me alone and I don’t wanna hear it!”
“You’re messed up,”she said loudly, “you’re a worthless piece of trash and I don’t blame your parents for leaving you. I would’ve left you, too—”
“They didn’t leave me—”
“Yeah, they did. At least your mom traded you for drugs. That’s more than you’re worth, because I would’ve done it for free.”
“She didn’ttrademe—”
“Yeah, she did! She fucking traded you for heroine because her habit was more important than you. That’s how worthless you are. She gave you up because you’re a fucking useless cunt and nobody wants you!”
“Shedidn’t trade me!”
“She fuckingtradedyou!”she was screaming now.“I bet it’s your fault she started drugs in the first place! She wanted to forget she even had you. No one’s ever gonna love you, no one’s ever gonnawantyou and I don’t know why you’re even still alive! You should fucking kill yourself, just like you tried to senior year—”
A flash of rage shot through me and I blacked out. Red was all I saw. Red, and screaming, and moisture and flesh in my hands. So much screaming and so much rage. And then I blinked. I took a deep breath. My eyes refocused.
My heart stopped when I saw what I’d done.
“No.”I covered my mouth and stepped back.“No no no. No, no, no, no no…”I covered my nose to block the smell of blood. The overwhelming stench that was burning my eyes.“What did I do… What the fuck did I just do…”I closed my eyes and opened them again, but everything was still there.
The body was spread. All over. Arms, legs, a head, both feet. Everything. Laying every which way. Nothing was intact. She was disfigured. Torn apart. Ripped to fucking pieces.
Blood was running down the walls and pooling at my feet. A mass of hair lay yards from her head. Her skin was peeling off, raw and bloody.
“Your first unnecessary kill…”Dennis was standing near the edge of the building, watching me with no trace of amusement.
“You saw that?”I took a shaky step back as reality hit. I was trying to get away from the body, but it was so scattered that I bumped into a mangled calf. I nearly screamed and stumbled away from it.“You saw that… Why did you have to see that?”I looked at him with teary eyes as he came closer. I kept backing away.
“Who cares. I’ve seen you kill people before.”
“No! What she said, you heard every fucking word she said! You weren’t supposed to hear any of that. No one’s ever supposed to hear any of that.” I jerked away from the bloody wall. Tears started pouring.“I hate her. I hate hersomuch. I hate hersofucking much and I thought I was done with her!”I kicked a piece of her body, then balked and collided with Dennis. I stepped onanother limb and shrank against him. I couldn’t get away from it.
“It doesn’t matter. She’s dead now. I doubt she’s coming back.”He held on while I tried to fight away.“Where are you trying to go?”
“Why didn’t you stop me?”I shrieked, clawing at his arms.“If you were right there, why didn’t you fucking stop me?”
