Zeus huffed a breath that could’ve been an agreement…or just him being a dog.
“And if she can’t fix it?—”
The words stuck in her throat. Because that was the fear underneath everything else, wasn’t it? That if she finally let someone in, finally let someone see the full extent of the damage, they’d realize she was too broken to bother with.
Leah had left her. Not because she didn’t care, but because Maddox hadn’t been able to give her anything real after the deployment. She’d shut down every attempt at connection until Leah had finally stopped trying.
Jade was different, though. She was persistent in a way that felt less like pressure and more like patience. And somehow that wasmoreterrifying because it meant Maddox might actually want to let her in.
She looked down at Zeus. “I’m scared,” she admitted, and the words felt too big for the quiet kitchen. “Terrified, actually.”
His tail swished back and forth slowly.
She took a big inhale to steel her nerves. “But I think I have to do it anyway.”
When dawn came to greet her, Maddox was still standing at the counter with Zeus at her feet. She felt the weight of the coming day press down on her shoulders, and she rolled them backward three times and squared them.
The nightmare’s echo still lodged in her chest, heavy and insistent, but Zeus’s warmth against her legs reminded her she wasn’t in the desert anymore.
“Come on,” she said to Zeus, pushing away from the counter. “Let’s get ready.”
He followed her through the house, staying close, and she let herself be grateful for his presence. Whatever happened in therapy today, whatever truths were finally revealed, at least she wouldn’t have to face it completely alone.
Small comfort, maybe, but right now she’d take it.
Her shift started at eight, and Maddox was already counting hours by eight-fifteen.
She’d gone through the motions at home—shower, uniform, Zeus’s breakfast and her own that she didn’t eat—and arrived at the precinct on time as always. Her body knew the routine well enough to function without her brain fully engaged, which was good because her brain felt like it was wrapped in cotton and static.
The morning briefing passed in a blur of voices and incident reports that she’d have to check her notes on later. Riley caught her eye across the briefing room and raised an eyebrow, but Maddox looked away before the question could fully form.
After, Zeus loaded into the K-9 vehicle without issue, and she went on patrol down residential streets, across the businessdistrict, and along the harbor loop. Maddox drove the familiar routes and responded to dispatch with the appropriate codes, but everything felt slightly off-kilter, like the world had tilted two degrees to the left and only she could feel it.
“Unit 12, respond to a noise complaint, 847 Ashwood Drive,” dispatch said.
Maddox pressed the button on the side of her radio and brought it to her mouth. “Copy. En route.”
Zeus shifted in the back, his reflection visible in the rearview mirror. He was alert and watching her more than the passing streets. He knew something was wrong, had known since the nightmare, and his attention hadn’t wavered all morning.
The noise complaint turned out to be nothing, just college kids with their music too loud at nine in the morning, still drunk from the night before. Maddox handled it in five minutes, kept her voice level and professional, and got back in her vehicle before anyone could make small talk.
She kept driving, and before long, she looked at the clock: ten-thirty. Three and a half hours until therapy.
Riley’s voice crackled over the radio just before eleven. “Unit 12, you copy?”
Maddox picked up the radio handset. “Go ahead.”
“Got time for a coffee stop? I’m buying.”
The offer was casual enough, but Riley didn’t do casual check-ins unless she’d noticed something worth bringing up. Maddox’s hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Negative. Busy route today.”
There was a pause, then: “Copy that. Catch you later.”
The lie tasted bitter and foul, but it was better than trying to deflect questions she didn’t have answers for. Riley would understand or she wouldn’t, and either way, Maddox didn’t have the energy to explain.
Noon came. Only two hours.
She skipped lunch. Her stomach was too tight for food anyway and pulled into a knot that had started forming the moment she’d woken from the nightmare and hadn’t loosened since. Zeus got his midday water break at the park, and she stood in the spring sunshine watching him sniff around the grass as she counted the minutes.
