Riley said nothing, but squeezed his hand, lettinghim say what he needed to say.
“I’d always thought it was my fault they were gone, and now knowing it wasn’t, that they were some casualty of a government conspiracy, I’m not even sure if it’s better or worse. It makes me wonder how many other people were affected by it, how many other kids are missing their parents because they were names on a list, loose ends that needed to be tied up.
“I’ll likely never know, but all it makes me feel is angry. I’m mad that I spent so much time hating myself and blaming myself for someone else’s wrongs. What gave them the right to take my parents away from me? Hell, we could have gone home to China if they didn’t want us here. It’s such a waste.”
Josh opened his eyes and rolled on his side to see Riley on his back, watching Josh with glassy eyes and a red nose, from the cold or from crying with him, he wasn’t sure.
“I don’t want to waste any more time, Ri.”
Riley’s brow furrowed. “Then don’t. You’re in charge of your life. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do together. If you want me there, I mean.”
Josh gave him a small smile and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Riley’s cold lips, then he rolled over to face his parents.
“Mama,Bàba, I miss you both so much, but Riley is here with me still, and he’s always got my back, so I thinkwe’ll be okay.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out two glow sticks, cracking each of them and laying one on each of his parents’ graves.
“Here’s something to help you find your way, like you helped me so many times. I hope you’re proud of me, wherever you are. And I hope you’re okay with me being with Riley, because it turns out he’s the best partner a guy could ask for, and I think he’s everything you’d want for me. I’m not sure how you would have felt about same-sex relationships, I guess I’ll never know, but I hope you can give us your blessing because he’s it for me. He’ll protect me like you did, and I’ll be there for him through it all. And maybe one day if we have kids, you’ll be there to help guide us.”
Josh turned to Riley, only slightly worried he’d said too much, but Riley beamed at him, tears streaking down on his cheeks.
He turned to his parents. “I’m going to start taking care of him right now by getting him out of this cold, but I wanted to let you know everything. I hope you’re still proud of me.”
When he looked at Riley, he saw a snowflake fall on his knit hat, and his gaze snapped toward the sky. Snow began falling, and Josh giggled.
“I’m going to take that as a yes.Zàijiàn,MamaandBàba. Goodbye.”
He sprang to his feet and held out his hand to pull Riley off the ground. He jumped right into Josh’s arms and pulled him tightly against him.
Riley kept his arms around Josh, but pulled away enough to look at him. “Did you mean it? You’re really in this with me?”
All Josh could do was smile. “This may not be the most romantic place to tell you this, but I love you so much, Ri. And not like the way I’ve always loved you as my best friend. You’re my soulmate. It’s always been me and you. I’m in love with you, and I don’t want to be with anyone else because you’re it for me.”
A choked laugh escaped Riley, his breath like a puff of smoke in the frigid air.
“I’m in love with you too. I think I always have been, and nothing is ever gonna stop me from loving you and from doing everything I can to protect you and be there for you.”
Josh brought his forehead to Riley’s and breathed out a sigh of relief.
“That’s all I want, you and me. Forever.”
“Forever sounds good to me too.”
A gust of wind blew through the cemetery and pushed Josh further into Riley’s embrace, drawing a chuckle from him.
“I think that’s my parents’ way of saying they approve.”
“Yeah, that and maybe to get out of the cold,” Riley said as he took Josh’s hand and pulled him toward the exit of the cemetery.
Josh took one more look at his parents, the glow sticks glowing against the stone of their graves. He’d live a good life for them, every day he could.
After the chaos of Garrett’s news, Josh had finally found some kind of peace.
With Riley by his side, he would be okay. One day, they’d have their own family to take care of, their own kids to build memories with. But for now, Josh wanted to live in the present and enjoy the journey.
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That night they had dinner with their families at the Hanson house. Everyone gathered around the dining room table covered with food.
