She never expected this charade to hurt so badly. It sounded so good in the beginning: pretend to be courted by a duke in exchange for a way out of the downward spiral their family had been traveling for years. Perhaps she allowed herself to enjoy the duke’s company a little too much. Perhaps she had indulged her own fantasies about him more than was prudent.
But this was just a business arrangement. Perhaps Evan lusted after her the way she did after him, but that was the extent ofit. If he had any sort of affection for her, he never would have abandoned her in the rain like that.
She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. She should never have expected a fairy tale ending to come from this arrangement, and he certainly never promised such a thing. All that mattered was that Aurelia get a proper Season and dowry to secure her future.
All she had to do was remember that and guard her heart for the rest of the Season. Hopefully, she could manage to protect it from breaking.
CHAPTER 29
That night, Joanna dressed in a dark blue evening gown with Mary’s help before she made the journey alone to Blackwell Manor.
When she arrived, the butler ushered her inside. “His Grace is waiting for you, miss. Right this way.”
She was surprised when the man didn’t lead her to the dining hall. Instead, he led her up a flight of stairs to the second floor. The man stopped in front of one of the doors. “His Grace is waiting for you inside, miss.” The man opened the door, his expression completely neutral.
Joanna’s mouth fell open when she saw a small drawing room. As if it were wholly for the duke’s personal use. There was a door leading to the balcony, where a table had already been set for two, adorned with candles and flowers.
Evan was standing next to the balcony door, watching her.
“I… I thought we were having dinner with your grandmother and brother,” she said.
“Grandmother and Peter are out for the night. It is just the two of us.” He took a step forward. “Don’t worry. All the servants here can be trusted. You are safe from scandal here. But if you prefer not to risk it, then you can leave if you wish.”
She smiled, appreciating that he was giving her an opportunity to escape, if that was what she wished to do. But she took a step forward. Any convictions to guard her heart were starting to dissolve with every passing second. “I am happy to enjoy a quiet dinner with you, Your Grace.”
“Please, call me Evan,” he said. “There is no need for such formality when we are alone like this.” His voice was soft, and it sent a pleasant shiver through her.
“All right, Evan,” she said. “Why did you invite me to such a scandalous dinner?”
“Because I wanted to see you. And I needed to make up for what happened in Hyde Park.”
She looked away. “It is quite all right,” she said. She paused, debating what she wanted to say next. It would be better if she could just feign indifference to that day, but that seemed impossible. She decided she needed at least some answers, which meant she had to ask questions. “I must ask, why did you have such a strong reaction?”
He hesitated a moment, with a slight grimace. “I… I do not do well in the rain. I try to avoid it as much as I can. So I acted without thinking.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “What sort of Englishman cannot endure a little bit of rain? How do you even cope?”
“That is a story for another day,” he said. “But I manage to endure it with careful planning. I also spend a lot of time in the library, where I cannot see or hear the rain. Usually, I am much more vigilant, but you have a way of making me forget everything else around me.”
Joanna’s face flushed with pleasure. Despite herself, hope started to bloom somewhere in her stomach. Perhaps there was a chance that he could want her as much as she wanted him after all.
The servants delivered a delicious dinner. First, there were seasoned rolls and a creamy soup made with fresh herbs. That was followed by several dishes full of vegetables and various kinds of meat, including lamb, pheasant, and guinea fowl. There seemed to be enough food for an entire feast, and Joanna could not believe the sight of it.
“Eat your fill,” Evan said. “I had the cook prepare everything especially for you.”
She looked at him accusingly. “What will happen to everything we don’t eat? There must be enough food here to feed at least ten people.”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry. I am not cruel enough to let good food go to waste. I am sure the staff will enjoy whatever we don’t touch.”
She smiled, relieved about that.
After she had eaten her fill of some of the most delicious foods she had ever eaten—the roasted guinea fowl, crusted with rosemary seasoning, was particularly delightful—the meal was concluded with a delectable almond cheesecake for dessert.
She set down her fork on her empty plate with a smile. “I don’t believe I can eat another bite. This was incredible.” She savored the feeling of being satiated by a meal. It wasn’t often that she felt free to eat her fill. For once, she didn’t have to hide how hungry she was after eating so little at home, and having the freedom to eat as much as she wanted was as delicious as the food itself.
He smiled. “It was a joy watching you eat it. Your face is most expressive when you are enjoying something.”
A small blush rose on her face. “I wasn’t aware of that.”
