“Yes, yes. Busy pacing a hole in the floor. Do not pretend that it’s paperwork keeping you occupied, my dear boy. Now come.”
Evan sighed, knowing he had no choice but to follow the dowager duchess. If he tried to ignore her request, then she would just come back with reinforcements in the form of Peter, who would happily wrestle Evan away from his work.
Tea was already waiting for them in the library. “What is on your mind, Grandmother?” He could already guess what she wanted,though. There was only one particular subject that she would want to talk about.
The dowager duchess sat down to pour them both tea before she took a couple of tea cakes for herself. “When am I going to meet the lady who has stolen your heart?”
He grimaced as he sipped his tea. “That’s a dramatic way of putting it, don’t you think?”
“Is it not an apt description? Ever since the ball, you’ve locked yourself away, brooding?—”
“I haven’t been brooding?—”
“Broodingover a few dances. Nothing appeared in the scandal sheets, and by all accounts, the night was a success. And yet, you are still unhappy. Perhaps seeing her again will be enough to perk you up. Besides, Peter and I must meet her.”
“The night was a success. Miss Thorne was wonderful. She charmed everyone there. There is nothing for you to worry about.”
“I know,” his grandmother said, her eyes twinkling. “I have heard as much from you as well as from some mothers who are very put out that their daughters did not catch your eye. I am just trying to find out what the issue is. You’ve been absolutely miserable for someone who spent a night by his beloved’s side.”
An image of Joanna, with her mouth swollen from his kiss as she looked up at him with a wounded expression, flashed through his mind. “She is not my beloved. I just… I just worry about hurting her.”
His grandmother frowned. “Why would you worry about that? I would think the opposite would be true. Associating yourself with her could hurtyou.Not that it matters, of course,” she said quickly. “The circumstances with her father are not relevant if you love her.”
He ignored that remark about ‘love.’ He could not love Joanna or any other woman, not if he wanted to remain unmarried. Unmarried meant minimizing the risk of losing loved ones. Peter would call it his incessant need to control, but he simply couldn’t experience the same pain that he felt when he lost his parents. “There was a lot of talk that night, and not just about Joanna and her father. But a lot of people expressed surprise that I would consider courting anyone. They seemed to imply I wasn’t capable of affection for anyone at all.”
This wasn’t really the problem. He did not care what the rest of thetonthought about him. He didn’t care if they feared him as long as they respected him. He just didn’t want Joanna to fear him.
But he could not tell his grandmother about the kiss. He could not tell anyone about it.
The dowager duchess reached over to grab his hand and squeezed it softly. “Do not let gossip mongers get to you, Evan.You might be stern and enjoy your privacy, but you are hardly incapable of love and affection. Just look at me and Peter. You certainly love us, do you not? You are a better man than most in theton,and Miss Thorne would be a fool not to see that.”
He smiled softly, feeling somewhat reassured, even if he hadn’t been completely truthful. “Thank you, Grandmother.”
“Of course, my dear.” She picked up her teacup again. “Now, when can I meet this young lady? I would like her over for dinner before the week is done.”
He sighed, knowing he could not put it off forever. “Perhaps you are right. I will send the invitation today.”
His grandmother beamed, and even though he was reluctant to do so, he was glad he could make her happy.
After tea, he sent the invitation, and received an eager acceptance before supper. He was not surprised, but he could not help but dread seeing Joanna again after what he had said to her.
CHAPTER 24
In the carriage on the way to Blackwell Manor, Joanna nervously smoothed out the skirt of her silk evening dress, even though she knew her appearance was pristine. Mary had made sure of that. But she could not help but be nervous.
What will his family think of me?
Five days had passed since the ball, and this was the first time she would be seeing Evan since then. Not only that, but she would be meeting his grandmother and his brother.
“Are you all right, my lady?” Mary asked, her brow furrowed in concern.
Joanna smiled. “Yes, of course. I am just nervous.”
“They will like you, my lady. They would be daft not to.”
“I certainly hope so.” She felt a little better having the vote of confidence from her maid, but she could not help but worry anyway.
Blackwell Manor was at least twice as grand and impressive as Clifford Manor was in its prime. The large stone building stood imposingly, surrounded by gardens in the front, and almost definitely behind the manor as well. The carriage dropped them off at the front of the building. She and Mary walked up the large steps leading to the door. Joanna knocked on the door and the butler answered.
