Joanna smiled. “I know. It’s quite silly, isn’t it? Now, what is the matter? Did someone hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No, nothing like that. It is merely…” she sighed. “Have you ever felt trapped?”
“Yes, certainly.” Joanna sat down in one of the armchairs near the fireplace, and the young lady did the same. “I have not been able to attend many Season events for the past three years. Every time we are in London, I am practically confined to the manor.” Normally, she would not be so open about this, but she had a feeling this girl just needed a friend at the moment.
The lady bit her lip. “Well, I have been able to attend every Season. My father is making me accept every ball invitation that comes my way this year, and I am afraid I am being ungrateful, because this is the last place I want to be tonight.”
“No, you are not being ungrateful,” Joanna said. “I would hate to go to balls against my will as well. Perhaps you should tell your father how you feel. I am sure he would not want to see you crying in the library.”
She let out a small, humorless laugh. “Perhaps not, simply because I can’t find a respectable husband by crying in the library, but that would be the extent of it. I must find a husband this Season, according to him. But, honestly, I don’t want to marry any man of theton.” She looked a little panicked. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that.”
Joanna smiled. “Your secret is safe with me. Although I am curious—what is your name?”
“Oh my, I have completely forgotten my manners. I am Lady Katherine Preston.”
“It’s nice to officially meet you, Lady Katherine,” Joanna said. She propped her head on her hand. “I can’t help but wonder… if you don’t want to marry any man of theton, is there someone else you do want?”
She looked a little guilty before she leaned forward. “There is a man,” she whispered. “He works for my father, who would never approve. But he’s the sweetest man I have ever known.” She smiled. “He makes me laugh, and he cares about more than whiskey and politics. You know, I have never known a married couple in thetonwho wish to spend time with each other any more than is necessary. But he… I could spend a century with him and it would not be enough.” She giggled and looked down. “Forgive me for rambling. I suppose I just needed to tell someone.”
“I am happy to listen,” Joanna said, smiling. “To be honest, it is nice talking to someone who isn’t preoccupied with the frequency that my father’s name ends up in the scandal sheets.”
“I never read those if I can help it.” She shuddered. “They are always so mean-spirited. It never seemed right to me.” She sighed and shook her head. “Sometimes I think I was switched at birth with the real Lady Katherine Preston. I do not think I can stomach society life. I am not sure if you understand what I mean.”
Joanna understood her a little too well. The ton could be cruel, and Lady Katherine seemed incredibly sweet. Luckily, the young lady did not draw much attention to herself, so she would not be the target of ridicule. Joanna doubted Katherine would be able to handle it if she ended up becoming the subject of gossip. “Frankly, I think London society could do with more ladies like you,” she said.
Katherine smiled. “Thank you, Miss Thorne. You are very kind.” She took a deep breath and wiped her face. “I believe I will go powder my nose and return to the ball. Thank you. It was nice talking to someone without watching everything I say for once.”
Joanna smiled. “I enjoyed it as well. I am glad you are feeling better.”
The young lady left, and Joanna knew she had spent enough time away from the dance herself. She felt better after taking some time away from Evan. That kiss had been as wonderful as it was scandalous. She was almost embarrassed to face Evanagain. But she couldn’t dwell on it here or surely someone would be able to deduce from her expression that something scandalous had happened between her and Evan. Best to put it out of her mind until she got home. Until then, she needed to return to the dance before she was missed.
CHAPTER 21
She was far too kind to him.
What had he been thinking, kissing her like that? He had risked ruining her. For what? Some jealousy?
Evan paced around the sunroom, long after Joanna left, as he scolded himself for his lack of control. It was a miracle she was able to be civil— even kind—after what he just did to her.
She desired the kiss, too. There was no denying that. She melted so beautifully in his arms, and she made the sweetest little moan when their lips touched. No doubt, he would be thinking of that moment for the rest of his life and enjoying every second of it. That kiss, and all the delight and lust that went with it, would forever haunt his dreams as a form of sweet torture.
But it didn’t matter that she enjoyed the kiss as much as he did. Not really. He risked exposing her to humiliation and scandal. She would have been forced to marry him or face ruin. He woulddo it, too. Despite his determination to never marry, he would not let her be ruined like that.
But then he would have sentenced her to a marriage against her will, all for a moment of lapsed judgment. What woman would possibly want to be married to the Duke of Ice? Despite her warmth and friendliness, she had still been convinced that he would end their agreement mercilessly. Not even she would truly want to marry him.
He looked out at the gardens and sighed. The thought should be reassuring. He had no intention of marrying, so why would he want to be considered an advantageous prospect by Joanna? But instead of being reassured, he felt depressed.
A glance at the clock made him realize he had been alone in the sunroom for over ten minutes, and he knew it was time to rejoin the ball and face Joanna again.
When he returned to the festivities, he saw Penelope and Joanna talking with each other in the corner. He felt a pang of longing at the sight of her, but he decided not to join her. Clearly, he could not get control of his emotions, and therefore, he needed to keep his distance from her for the rest of the night.
It was a little after midnight when he and Joanna made their farewells and left the estate. Mary joined them as they walked outside. She gave them both a smile.
“Did you have a nice night, Mary?” Joanna asked.
“It was very pleasant, miss. I caught a glimpse of the festivities, and it all looked splendid. Did you enjoy it?”
“It was a wonderful evening,” Joanna murmured softly. But she did not seem particularly happy after the evening’s activities. That was his fault.
