“What doesnot exactlymean?” he questions, alarm beginning to circle around his words.
“My flight was grounded because of the weather, and there were no flights going out, and well, I kind of took a little detour via an economy car that I named Miranda. Hit some ice, almost became a frozen corpse, but was miraculously rescued by a man named Boone that looks just like he sounds but makes the most delicious latte my tastebuds have ever rejoiced in. I’m at his cabin, snowed in. I’m not sure I’m going to make it to Mother’s for Christmas.”
There’s another scream coming from the speaker, but it’s not Gracie. “Absolutely not!”
“Absolutely not what?” I question.
“None of it.” He doesn’t clarify. “None of what you said.”
“Kev, I’m truly snowed in. I don’t have a way to make it.”
“Katherine, I’m truly serious. I need you at Mom’s.”
“First of all, rewind, take the name Katherine out of yourmouth, tear it into a million little pieces, and never call me it again. You know how I feel about being called Katherine. Secondly, I can’t be there. I don’t really have a choice.”
“You know I can’t do Mom on my own. She’ll destroy me. I need the armored power of Katydilla to take all the shots she’s going to take. I’m sure she’s been practicing her aim all year. Did you know she started following Maisy Jo on Instagram? Following, that’s it. No comments. No likes. She’s just been watching and collecting data to wield it against us.”
And I get his distress. I really do. Our mother doesn’t say much to either of us, but when she does choose to open her mouth, it’s with the intent to destroy, like the time Kevin brought Maisy Jo home for the first time. I had to literally become a human shield as our mother sharpened her words to make Maisy Jo feel like she wasn’t refined enough to belong in our family. When Maisy Jo began sawing at her Christmas steak with her knife, I picked my steak up with my hands so my mother’s steely glares and pointed tongue were focused on me.
“Well, then don’t go,” I suggest, shrugging my shoulders that he can’t see.
“I can’tnotgo. You know that’s not an option. Kate, you have to figure this out.” His tone has grown hands and is begging.
Kevin decided years ago that it wasn’t fair to his children if he decided to let the problems we have with our mother keep them away from their grandma. She didn’t exactly exude warmth or even lukewarmth, but Kevin would rather them know her once a year than never know her at all. It was generous of him, and I’dpromised to be there, too. It was the least I could do for my nieces and nephews.
“I’m sorry, Kev. I really am. I’ll hate not seeing you, Maisy Jo, and the kids.” I apologize, because that’s all I’ve got.
He sighs in defeat. “What did Mom say when you told her?”
“I called you first. I needed to win a battle before I lost the war.”
“Good luck. The kids will hate not seeing you for Christmas.”
I sigh. I’ll miss them, too, although maybe not the screaming from teething. I make a mental note to invest in a good pair of noise-canceling earbuds. “I’ll come see you all for New Year’s. Does that work?”
“Only if you bring this Boone guy who rescued you. You aren’t exactly the damsel-in-distress type. You’re more of a damsel doing all the distressing. In fact, this is the first time in a long time I’ve even heard you mention a man that wasn’t a client,” he teases.
“I’ll see you soon.” I laugh in the least amused tone I can conjure up, avoiding his request. As soon as this snow clears up, I’ll be on my way, leaving Boone behind in the woods where he belongs. I’m sure he’s going to be more than glad to be rid of me.
I hang up and stare at my phone for a good five minutes before dialing the next number.
The phone rings. Five times. Six. Seven. It’s about to go to voicemail when…
“Oh, Katherine, I’m glad you called.”
I can practically see her, sitting on her throne of a burgundy velvet chair in the formal living room that is most likely professionally decorated with so manypoinsettias you’d think she owns a poinsettia farm. Her white hair pulled up tightly, stretching her thin skin until it’s taut enough to showcase her latest round of Botox. Oh, she’d let her hair go natural, but that’s only because white hair was currently trending.
“Are you glad?” I spout. “Because it seems like you weren’t too worried about my whereabouts.”
“We both know there was no need to fuss,” my mother chides. “Besides, Christmas is still two days away.”
“Well, I’m not sure I’m going to make it,” I state flatly. “My flight was grounded due to the storms, and I rented the last car available, which proved to be an endangering endeavor as I slid on ice and into a ditch. I was basically buried alive…well, almost dead, when a man named Boone happened to crash into me. I’m at his place, some cabin-in-the-woods type situation, recovering and, well, kind of stuck. The snow keeps falling, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it to Christmas this year.”
“Oh, well, I guess I need to call the caterer to let them know we’ll be short one,” my mother replies, as if I hadn’t just almost met my Maker. As if she’s barely paying any attention at all. Probably swiping another coat of that blood-rich nail polish on those daggers she keeps handy hanging from her wrists.
“Mother, did you hear the part where I almost died?”
“Well, Katherine, to be honest, I’m never sure where your stories are going. You tend to drone on into a delirious state where I’m not sure if you are being serious or being seriously sarcastic. Everything is always so dramatic with you; it’s no wonder a man hasn’t beenable to handle you.”
