That’s where I need to be.
My phone rings with Kevin’s name on the screen.
“Hey, Kev,” I answer.
“You sure you can’t make it to Mom’s?” he asks, an incredulous tone to his question. As if he doesn’t believe I’m really stuck in the mountains. As if he thinks I’ve made this whole thing up to avoid our mother. Which, I would do if I didn’t love my brother as much as I do.
“Hold on,” I say before I put my hand over the phone. “Boone! Come here!”
Boone is there in less than ten seconds, running into the living room from the kitchen. “What? Is something wrong?”
“Only that my brother doesn’t believe I can’t make it to my mother’s for Christmas. Mind taking a selfie with me to prove that I am indeed here in the mountains with a stranger?” I ask.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Sure.”
I hold the phone out at the perfect height, angling down slightly at us. Boone steps behind me, and I lean back into him, his beard scratching up against my cheek. I can feel the heat beginning to swirl between us as I argue with my body about not relaxing into his. “Smile!”
We both grin at the camera. It flashes and I quickly step away from Boone, sending the photo to my brother before putting the phone back up to my ear. “See. I’m here with Boone. In the mountains. Snowed in. I can’t make it home for Christmas.”
Then Boone takes the phone from me, and I give him an appalling look that makes his dimples appear. “Hey, Kevin. It’s Boone Montgomery. Yeah. Unfortunately, the roads haven’t been cleared yet; although, they are working to get to it today from what I’ve heard.”
Then Boone laughs, and I hate that I can’t hear what my brother is saying. Boone looks over at me, twinkling as brightly as the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. It’s my favorite Christmas tree. Well,wasmy favorite. At the moment, I’m a big fan of the tree in Boone’s cabin that’s strung with chicken coop lights. “She told me I couldn’t. I’m afraid so. Yeah. You’ll have to ask her about it. It was her versus a chicken. Good to talk to you, too.”
Boone extends the phone to me with a laugh and then leaves the room.
“What did you say to him?!” I demand from my brother.
“First of all, did you lose a chicken fight? That gash on your head looks pretty intense.”
“Yes. The chicken’s name is Goose, and she wasn’t a fan of me being in her coop. I fell and caught my head on a board,” I explain quickly. “Now, what did you say to Boone?”
“I have more questions about a chicken named Goose for later. Mark that down in your brain for New Year’s. And I just told him to kiss you, but he informed me you’ve already told him he can’t. Such a shame, too. A little romance in the mountains would be good for you,” Kevin rambles.
“You’re literally telling astrangerto kiss me,” I remind him.
“The photo didn’t exactly exude stranger danger, Kate. In fact, it looks like it could be kind of the opposite,” he teases. “Anyway, Merry Christmas. Don’t waste this little situation of yours. What would Dad say?”
“He’d be more concerned than you are,” I utter.
“He’d be concerned if you were concerned, but he’d also tell you that life is too short to waste it not living it with the ones you love most. He learned the hard way, Kate. We both know that. Mom even knows that.” Kevin’s voice has morphed into one of honesty.
Our mother did know. Dad stayed with her, but he didn’t love her. In his defense, she didn’t love him back. Dad stayed for us. He thought he was doing the best thing, especially when he was diagnosed with cancer. He didn’t want to die alone, and he wanted to make sure our mother was taken care of. He did love her in that way, in the way his marriage vows had bonded his life to hers.
“That’s why I’ll be at your place for New Year’s. I won’t miss out on the ones I love most,” I reply.
“Kate, I say this because I love you. No matter how amazing Maisy Jo, the kids, and I are, you deserve more than that. You deserve what I have even if you don’t feel like you do. Letting someone else love you doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself to them. Loving the right person makes you believe in yourself more, even love yourself more.”
“See you soon, Kev. Merry Christmas,” I say before I end the call so I can end his reasoning. I don’t want to hear it.
He knows exactly what one of my biggest fears is, the fear I’ve been avoiding wrestling with since Boone prayed over me last night. Since I felt something more than just liking Boone, but the idea of being with Boone. Those silly Santa Secret nights as kids and adults have bonded us to the innermost workings of our heads and hearts, and now, my brother has voiced my fear out loud, so I can’t avoid it.
“Your brother seems nice.” Boone steps back into the living room with another cup of coffee. It seems we both are consuming quite a bit of the energizing liquid, and I try not to think if it’s because we’d rather be awake to spend time together instead of asleep.
“Whatever he told you…” I trail off.
“I made a promise, Kate,” Boone replies, stepping closer to me. Too close. “Although, maybe breaking promises is one of the things that makes me a less likeable person. If I add that to the list, will that makeyou like me as much?”
His coffee cup is steaming my face like the best facial I’ve ever received. Definitely the best smelling one. I take the cup from him, my hands slipping beneath his. I bite my tongue at the tingling my nerves experience before taking a sip of his coffee, watching as his mouth pulls tight into a grin. He chose peppermint creamer, and it’s delicious.
