For a while, we sat like that, wrapped in each other’s heat. Emma’s body trembled with the cold, her grip on me tightening as if holding on for dear life. As if I were the only thing keeping her tethered. And I wasn’t about to let go. I held her in my arms, my fingers gently brushing against her arm, wishing—despite everything—that it wasn’t the cold forcing us to sit like this.
“Caden?” Emma’s voice broke the silence, barely a whisper, hesitant, like she wasn’t sure if she should ask what was on her mind.
“Hmmm?” I murmured, trying to stay focused on the sensation of her body against mine, the steady rhythm of her breathing and the way her cold skin felt under my touch. It was a distraction, a good one.
“Can I ask you something?” she said, sounding uncertain, like she was treading on fragile ground.
“I’m a bit busy right now,” I quipped.
She punched me lightly in the gut, and I groaned dramatically, though her punch barely had any force behind it.
“What’s up?” I asked, still chuckling, trying to keep the mood light. But when I glanced down at her, I saw the seriousness of her thoughts in the way she was biting her bottom lip.
“Why did you kill Julian for me?” she asked quietly, with a hint of vulnerability.
Damn. That question blindsided me.
I hesitated for a second, trying to find the right words. “We execute the death penalty for anyone responsible of forcing the True Bond,” I said carefully, my voice deliberately neutral, keeping my emotions in check.
But Emma wasn’t buying it.
“That’s not what you said, though,” she replied softly.
I frowned. My mind flicked back, trying to piece together her memory of events. When did I say what exactly? The question hung on my lips, but I didn’t ask it yet, waiting for her to explain.
She looked up at me, her eyes dark and searching, and then she said it. “You said you didn’t wantmeto be raped by him… After which you proceeded to threaten me with rape yourself, by the way.”
I snorted, the memory of that heated moment rushing back. It wasn’t one of my proudest moments, trying to scare her back to Cyclos, but I remembered her biting response. “Oh right, I forgot about that part,” I said with a faint grin. “To which you responded that it wouldn’t be such an inconvenience considering the small size of my dick, if I’m not mistaken.”
She ignored my attempt at humor, her expression not budging even an inch.
“Help me understand,” she asked, her voice pleading. “Why did you kill Julian?”
Staring down at her, I could see how much this question had been eating at her.
I raised an eyebrow, trying to lighten the mood with a teasing tone. “You miss your Elder, Emma?” I joked, but even I knew the words weren’t going to land.
Her patience snapped. “Fuck, Caden, stop deflecting!” The words were louder than they needed to be, echoing off the walls of our cozy icebox.
I sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair, as I felt the intensity of everything settle over me. “You truly think so little of me?” I asked, my voice quieter now, more serious. “You can’t understand why I wouldn’t want you—or any other woman—raped? I’m not a bad man, Emma. I know I’m the villain in your story, but I try not to make a habit of it.”
She blinked, clearly not expecting that response.
“I don’t think you’re a villain,” she said quietly. “I think you were seriously misguided in your actions towardme, and you bear responsibility for it. But I can see how much good you have in you, too.”
Her words caught me off guard, and I found myself looking at her, surprised and weary. I hadn’t expected it—hadn’t expected her to acknowledge anything other than my mistakes. “I will always do what is necessary for the good of my people,” I replied, softer as well, but still carrying an edge of conviction. “Even if it makes me evil to some.”
Emma was studying my face, trying to understand something deeper, something beneath the layers of self-justification. “So you killed Julian solely to prevent other women from being raped?” she asked, her voice level, though there was a hint of disbelief.
I exhaled sharply, her unrelenting scrutiny pinning me in place. The truth, as much as I tried to keep it simple, wasn’t easy to swallow—not for me, and definitely not for her. But she had earned some truth. More than some.
"I killed him because the thought of him raping you—mentally or physically—flipped something so dark inside me, I needed him gone. I couldn’t stop myself, and I didn’t fucking want to." My gaze caught hers, the words hitting raw and unfiltered. "Make of that what you will."
She blinked a few times, absorbing the significance of my confession. She didn’t say anything, but I could see the wheels turning in her mind, my words settling heavily. Then, almost imperceptibly, she relaxed into my hold, her body softening against mine as if accepting my unspeakable actions.
She squeezed me a bit tighter, her grip reassuring, and I held her just a little closer in return.
The familiar scent of pear and lily from her skin mixed with the crisp, cold air around us, created a strangely comforting aroma that seemed out of place in this freezing cage but somehow felt soothing.
