But I don’t. I can’t. Because I have to figure out how to tell her thatI knew all along.
I have to figure out how to tell her the truth about her mother. And I can’t stop the nagging thought that this time, she may not be able to forgive me.
Chapter 41
Maeve
Eidolom (n) a phantom or apparition
I wake up to an empty bed. There’s a bottle of water and pain medicine sitting on the nightstand, along with a note.
I toss the note onto the floor.I think I’ll do whatever the hellIwant. I feel like shit, and I don’t think Tylenol and bed rest is going to help. I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. The hardwood is cool under my feet, the tile even colder. I grab my toothbrush and start to brush my teeth. The jagged cut on the side of my hand looks angry and raw in the morning light. I pause, staring down at it, then I hiss at the sting when a trail of toothpaste from my open mouth runs over it. I thrust my hand under the sink and let cold water run over it, and a wave of revulsion rolls over me when I notice the blood still caked under my fingernails.I drop my toothbrush and scrub beneath them until my fingertips are almost raw.
Get it together, Maeve. You’ve done this before.
I finish brushing my teeth, find my bag, and throw on some jeans, a t-shirt, and my boots. I braid my hair and head to the staircase. The smell of sausage and bacon wafts toward me as I descend, and my mouth begins to water.
I turn into the dining room and find Saoirse sitting at the table, eating with another woman I don’t recognize. I take my place at the table and silently fill my plate. But it’s only when I finally have it full that I realize I’m not all that hungry after all. I stare down at it for a beat, and the sight of the meat begins to make my stomach turn.
“Were you eating with your eyes and not your stomach?” Saoirse says, and I look up to find her watching me.
“Umm, yeah, I guess I was,” I admit, picking up a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and taking a sip.
“It’s been a long time since I last saw you, Maeve,” the other woman says, and as I look at her again, more closely this time, it hits me.
Laoise.
This is Laoise, the reason Orin had gotten so panicked yesterday.
“Laoise, of course. What’s it been, seven years?”
“Uh, yeah, something like that,” Laoise responds, a flicker of pain crossing her features.
We all pick at our plates wordlessly for a minute or two, then Saoirse breaks the silence.
“Well, last night was interesting.” I look up to see her pointing her spoon at me. “You surprised me, little one.”
“Yeah, okay,” I shake my head at her, my expression hard, not wanting to hear any more lectures about how I can’t handle this.
“I meant it as a compliment,” she says, rolling her eyes at me.
I consider this for a second. “What happened after I left last night, anyway?” Saoirse pauses, putting her spoon down. “I had to listen to Liam tell me what happened to your mother, and I’m glad you weren’t in there for that. I wouldn’t have been able to listen to it if it’d been my mother.”
My stomach drops, and I feel sick, but she seems oblivious as she continues talking, her tone almost casual. “My parents died in a fire set by a Costa. I can’t imagine hearing she was kidnapped and tortured.”
“What do you mean, tortured?” I ask, my voice shaking.
“Fuck, you didn’t know,” Saoirse says, her expression panicked and apologetic.
“You were in there when he told me that it wasn’t a car accident. You knew—” I start, but she quickly corrects me.
“No, Maeve. I had to step out to make a call early on and didn’t come back in until you yelled for someone to shut him up. I swear. I’m sorry. Shit.” She looks nervous, and I hear chatter coming down the hall. I stand so quickly that my chair falls, crashing to the floor. Saoirse standsas well, her hands held up in a placating gesture. The boys round the corner and stop in their tracks.
“What’s going on?” Callum asks cautiously, walking toward me slowly.
I step back, putting distance between us. “Did you know?” I ask him, my voice barely above a whisper. He just looks at me, expression blank. “Did you know what actually happened to my mother? Please tell me, Callum, that you didn’t know. Please tell me that you didn’t keep something else from me, after everything we’ve been through.” He knew, and that's why he wanted me to stop last night.
The look on his face in this moment reminds me of how he looked nine years ago, when I found him with Nessa at that party. Stony. Almost cold. I turn to face the others.
